Page 43 of Royal Bosshole

Life was like a blur at the moment. When I was in my office, I honestly couldn't remember how I'd gotten there. Or what had made me get out of bed in the morning and get dressed. When I was at home, it was like I couldn't remember what had happened in the office. I was almost living in two separate strange worlds, and I couldn't make them combine anymore. As for myself, I was walking around like a zombie.

Lily had been so right about me. I was a jackass. I'd spent so long in my life being told that what I did was right. That whatever decision I made was the right one. It was what came with being a prince, I supposed. I had to be confident, always self-assured, strong. Unbreakable.

But I didn't feel any of that anymore. I felt broken. Somehow, Lily had tunnelled her way into my heart, and she wasn't leaving. She was everything someone like me really needed. She could keep me humble. To make sure that I didn't get too big a head. Someone to control me at times, instead of allowing me to do whatever I wanted. She was honest, refreshing, and she was real.

She'd never once tried to pretend that she was something other than what she was. She had pride and confidence in herself. And I knew she would make the perfect queen. She was the person I wanted by my side, but it was too late. I’d fucked it up so bad that there was no way I could come back from it. Even if I did tell her about who her family was, who she was, and what we were meant to do together, there was no way that she would agree to move forward. Why would she want to marryme?

I was the dick who'd hired her in order to get her business and her secret. To expand the business I had become a part of just because I was trying to busy myself while I searched for the lost princess. I was the man who'd used her for sex, even though I knew that I was meant to get married and that I would stick to those vows. I was also the man with the darkest of pasts, and the closet so full of skeletons, that I was truly unlovable.

All of this is for the best. She knows that you are not fit to rule. I know it too. Lenovia will be far better without me.

On her last day, I watched her leave the office, and then when she was gone, I let my head fall forward onto my desk. That was going to be the last time that I'd see her. I’d looked at her for the past two weeks, not saying anything, knowing that whatever I said would not be listened to. I didn't deserve to speak to her. But I still hadn't been prepared for watching her walk away that last time. It felt like a knife to the gut. Lifting my head from my desk, I picked up my father's letter that he’d sent about a week ago. I opened it again and read it for the hundredth time.

You found her and you like her, could possibly even love her. Tell her how you feel, James. This is not how you thought it would go. This is far better. Ask her to marry you. Tell her you can make this all right together.

But the letter I'd written back to my father had been about how I wasn't fit to rule anyway. That I'd made such mistakes. And my father wouldn't be proud of me. The country wouldn’t want me as king.

My phone rang and when I picked up it was Peter.

“Hey man. So, it's Friday night and I think we should probably go out. I haven't heard much from you. And after what happened, I think you're probably due for a drink. Out and not alone.”

I let out a morbid chuckle inside, rubbing my hand over my face. My beard was growing a bit. I hadn't had the energy to trim it.

“Yeah, you're probably right. But you choose the place.”

“Cool. I'll text it to you. See you there. Just come right after you're done at work. No going home.”

When my cab pulled up outside of the crusty dive bar that Peter had chosen, I grimaced. This was the place that people went to when they were trying to get over something. Well, that worked for my purposes, I supposed. When I got inside, I had to look through a bunch of people to find him, and he waved me down with a big smile.

“Thought you'd lose your nerve when you saw the outside of this place. I know it's a little low-brow for you,” he teased. “The other people in here remind you that your life isn’t half bad. Dive bars are the place to go to when you are sulking and throwing yourself pity parties.”

“Oh, is that what I'm doing?” I asked, too tired to argue with him.

“Yes, exactly. You let that woman go. The woman who made you smile, made you get your head out of your ass like we talked about, made you look up and see the world for once. She turned out to be the woman you were looking for all along, and yet you still let her go. I don’t get it.”

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Peter, it wasn't about letting anything. I fucked up, and she found out, and it just showed me what kind of person I really am. Not that I didn't know already, after what had happened all those years ago.”

“Dude, you have got to stop beating yourself up about that. You never did anything intentionally wrong, never meant to hurt anyone. You were just doing your job. And this beating yourself up for years is not making you any better. It's keeping you from being happy.”

“But what now, Peter?” I asked, clenching my fist on the table. “It's true. I did hire her to get that secret. I hired her to steal her business. Being on top was something that made me feel powerful. I never looked at it negatively before. Until her. She made everything so clear to me, and I can’t see it.”

“Then I think you should go get her, dude. Stop wallowing. Show up and tell her the truth. And I have the perfect chance for you to do it.” Peter grinned, and I knew something was up his sleeve.

“What are you talking about?”

“So, I went into Charlotte's coffee shop to see what the big fuss was about the other day. Those lattes are fucking good. Now there's an advertisement up for a karaoke night at the place tomorrow. She's definitely going to be there, especially now that she doesn't work for you anymore. So, why don't you go get it all out there? And see what happens.” He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal at all.

“See what happens?” I repeated.

“Exactly. Princes don't give up, bro, if you haven’t read the fairy tales. You're one of the strongest men I know. So, go and prove me right.”

“Okay,” I said. “I'll think about it. Now let's get another drink.”

CHAPTER18

LILY

“Girl, this is amazing,”Stevie said, her eyes wide.

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