Page 76 of Malicious Wedding

But she’s gone, skipping down the steps, walking fast down the block. I stand on the stoop, watching her go. Nearby, Fitz smokes while leaning against the car, watching me with a neutral expression.

Ash disappears around the corner. It feels like she takes all my hopes and dreams with her.

“Want me to go bring her back?” Fitz asks, taking a drag.

I shake my head. “She needs time.”

“I take it you told her the truth.”

“I should’ve done it sooner. Or maybe I should’ve tried harder to keep it from her longer so I could control how it came out. I’m not sure.”

“You probably shouldn’t have done all that you did this past decade, if you’re taking stock of things.”

I give him a sharp look. “Careful.”

He stomps on the cigarette butt. “You keep me around because I’m one of the few men in your crew that tell you the truth, so now I’m going to say this, even though you won’t like it. That girl’s right to run away.”

My hands ball into fists. “This isn’t the time.”

He holds up a hand. “I know you, Carson. I know that even though you went too far and did all the wrong things these last ten years, you love her.” Fitz cocks his head. “And I also know you’re not going to give up this easy. So what’s the plan?”

I stare him down for a long moment.

What’s the plan?

I turn toward the house. “My plan is I wait.”

“Think that’ll get her back?” Fitz calls after me as I head inside.

I don’t know what it’ll do.

But I know I can’t live without her for long.

Chapter33

Ash

Ifeel hollowed out. Like someone took a knife and scooped away everything that makes me a person, leaving only a husk, a dried-out thing in the shape of a girl but without all the important bits.

Cold and broken. Shadow-puppet.

“I’m going to be honest,” Bernie says over a glass of wine. “I didn’t expect this. I’m aware that’s a massive understatement.”

“Imagine how I feel.” I lean back on her couch, deep into my third glass. I should probably stop, but hell, drinking is the only thing that’s numbing my pain. It’s definitely not healthy. Right now though, I don’t care about anything except for shutting down my brain.

Thinking, planning. Mourning. That all comes tomorrow.

Bernie sighs. “I mean, he’s obviously nuts. Like, the way he looks at you is borderline terrifying. Kind of hot, but scary as hell too.”

“I’m aware.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “I love that look. That’s sick, right? Even now, I still love it.”

Which doesn’t say much for my sanity.

“Maybe a little sick, but also understandable. I think I’d get pregnant instantly if he ever leveled that look on me.”

“I don’t really want to talk about how hot Carson is right now, Bern. He used me foryears.”

She makes a sound in her throat. “He didn’tuseyou so much as, I don’t know, shower you in money and make sure you’re safe and financially comfortable without ever asking for anything in return. Although honestly, I wish he would’ve been a little more upfront about it since that would’ve saved us a whole shit ton of stress.”

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