Page 6 of Before We Came

I love kids. Despite my reputation as a playboy, I’ve always wanted a big family of my own. The home I had growing up was a far cry from healthy. Being raised by Jack’s parents has given me hope for myself—as long as I can get my shit together.

“I’ll take you up on that,” he says without thinking.

Lori pulls the sliding door open and calls out to the backyard, “Maddie! Lonan is here!”

“Lo-Lo!” she squeals, and I can already hear the swish of her little footsteps as she runs through the layer of crunchy leaves outside. She’s panting when she gets in, her cheeks rosy from the chilly autumn air.

“Madaroni and cheese!”

“I’ve been waiting only forever for you to get here!” she says with her hands on her hips.

“Well, sheesh, I’m sorry I kept you waiting. Did you start the cookies yet?”

“Not yet! Grandma says I get to help measure the chocolate chips and pour in the ingredients.”

“Wow, I’ve never been allowed to measure the chocolate chips.”

“Because you eat ’em all!” they say in unison.

I grin and take a moment to let the sense of belonging I get from being here fill my soul. I’m home. I look back to Maddie and ask, “Want to check out the fort?”

“Yes! I need to show you the shutters because the white is falling off, and Dad says you need to paint them again.”

I make a mental note to buy more paint next spring.

* * *

Jack cracks open the garage beer fridge and hands me an IPA and a koozie. We chat about his work, my game schedule, and life in general. As we walk outside, crisp fall leaves and earthy trees take over my senses. The conversation turns to Bridget when we enter the woods.

“Do you remember that time she poured maple syrup in the floor vent?” I ask.

“Oh shit! Yeah, and the whole house smelled like pancakes whenever the heat kicked on for like three years.” He chuckles. “What about when she would insist we play house with her but then she would make herself the”—he air quotes—“family armadillo?”

I snort. “All functioning households need an armadillo. Here we were cooking and cleaning our asses off and Birdie’s over in the corner, rolling herself into a ball and doing somersaults.”

“I swear she did it just to fuck with us.”

Our laughter fades and we walk in silence for a while.

“Do you still have those dreams about her?”

I sigh. “Yeah. Part of me hopes they never go away because it’s almost like I get to spend time with her again. The other part wishes I could just leave it in the past.”

He nods, and we turn next to the tall ferns, tree fort in view. I’ve never told Jack about the kiss, not because I wanted to hide it from him, it just never came up.

“Did you know your sister was my first kiss?” I say, sharing my favorite memory.

“What? When?”

“That last summer. It was right up there, actually.” I point to the tree fort.

“I always thought she had a crush on you.”

My stomach gets queasy, it still hurts when I think about her for too long.

“Yeah. I had a crush on her too.”

THREE

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