Page 31 of Before We Came

Funny, I was so worried about running into my parents or Jack at the hotel in Minneapolis, meanwhile I was fucking his best friend the whole time.Small world, eh?What am I going to do now? I’m torn between wanting to never see him again and dragging him upstairs for a repeat of him between my thighs. I’ll never be able to look him in the eye without picturing his dick or the sound of him growlinggood girlin my ear.

“Birdie?”

Audrey is looking at me with raised eyebrows. Shit, I wasn’t paying attention.What were we talking about?

“Sorry,” I fluster. “What was that?”

“Pajamarades. Has anybody warned you about it yet?”

“Pajamarades?”

“It’s a Christmastime tradition, it’s just charades while wearing pajamas. However, it’s my duty as your sister-in-law to warn you what’s about to go down.”

I laugh. I like Audrey. If we had met in Vancouver, I’m sure we would have become close friends. “Lay it on me.”

“Those nice people in there, the ones that look like they are out of a Hallmark movie”—Thank God, it’s not just me—“they are ruthless. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first Pajamarades or your twentieth, the Hayeses take no prisoners. It’s like a sporting event, they become completely unhinged.”

“Got any advice for a first-timer?”

“Yeah, pour yourself a tall glass of wine and just yell along with the rest of them. You’re going for eighties Tom Hanks freakout. But if you hit The Burbs, you’ve gone too far.”

* * *

After dishes, I was instructed to put on my pajamas for Pajamarades. My most Christmas-y pair are a red silk button-down set. I’m relieved I brought more than just boy shorts and camisoles. As I take the stairs back down, I can feel his gaze on me. I’m not looking back this time, there’s nothing between us, tonight is about family. This entire trip is about family. Besides, I need to rally my energy. My body is still tired from sledding with Maddie this afternoon. But I’d be lying if I said that some of the aches weren’t due to Lonan’s monster penis. I go to the kitchen and pour my large glass of wine to prepare for the shitshow.

Maddie comes bouncing into the kitchen in fuzzy penguin footie pajamas. “Aunt Birdie! Lonan says I’m supposed to ask you to be on his team, but not to tell you that he said to be on his team.”

From the other room, Lonan yells, “Miss Maddie, your ability to follow instructions leaves much to be desired!”

He’s not helping.

“How about I join your team, Mads?”

“I’m on Lonan’s team!”

Great.

“Of course you are.”

“She said yes!” Maddie squeals as she runs back into the living room.

Wine glugs into my stemless wineglass. After, I join Maddie, Lonan, and Audrey in the living room. He’s relaxed with one of his arms stretched over the back of the sofa. I feign a scolding expression and mouth,The child?Really?

He smiles back at me and mouths,Nice PJs.

Those were his exact words when he came to my hotel room, the pink of my cheeks could probably be seen from space. I sit next to Audrey to avoid being sucked into his orbit.

She clinks our glasses. “Nice pour.”

The rest of the family make their way to the sitting area, and before I know it, the room is filled with a cacophony of movie titles and hysterical flailing gestures. Audrey was right, these people are on the edge of their seats, yelling and pointing like a bunch of Wall Street floor traders. It’s insanity, and I love every second of it.

Lonan is up next, watching him act out movie titles in those flannel pants is borderline indecent, his thighs are built like tree trunks, and every time he extends his legs dramatically, the merchandise goes on full display if the lighting hits it just right. It’s distracting. Attempting to focus on the task at hand, I follow Audrey’s advice and throw out random movie titles in hopes that one of them sticks.

“Braveheart!”

“The Godfather!”

“Alien!”

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