Page 57 of Tempt

“The only clothes I ever had were those that Gran would buy me. The food, on most days, was stale and old, because her food was drugs. She didn’t care if I ate, or where I slept. For years Rose dragged me around from town to town, state to state, trying to find the next joker that would be stupid enough to allow her to sponge off him.”

Every detail I share only makes me feel smaller, but it keeps coming. Like floodgates being open and there is no way to stop it.

“The men were never clean, never hardworking and safe, but she didn’t care. She’d spend her days drunk and her nights high, while I prayed that I’d be able to make it through one more night unharmed.”

“Baby, I—,”

“I am not telling you this, so you’ll feel sorry for me, I’m telling you because you need to understand why I chose to stay away. I had to clear my head, because right now I seriously feel so angry that the last person I ever want to be on the receiving end of that hate is you.”

“I don’t want just the good, Kyra, I want it all.” He moves forward so fast I don’t have time to prepare. Reaching out he grips my face with both hands, forcing me to look at him. “I don’t fucking want pieces. If you need to scream and lose your shit, I’m here. Right here!”

I shake my head, but he holds my face tighter.

“I don’t think you are weak; I don’t feel sorry for you.” I close my eyes tight, fighting back the tears.

“You are strong,” he adds as the first tear falls. “You are resilient, and I understand the hate you feel, I get it. But you also need to take a look at what that hate is doing to you. Is it worth it? Doing what you are doing to yourself?”

“I was never good enough.”

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

I open my eyes and stare up at him. Did he not hear everything I just told him?

“Your mother has her own demons, it's those dark shadows that have overtaken her life. I’m not saying it's right; I’m not saying that everything she put you through wasn’t horrific, she was a bad mother.”

The worst.

“But what I am saying, is thatthose demons are responsible for her being unable to see the beauty in front of her. I think somewhere, hidden beneath all that darkness she can see the perfection she created and she’s proud and in her own way she loves you. But when someone has an addiction, that part of them clouds everything else and though it's hard and we feel like we are fighting a losing battle we can only hope that one day they see the light and they fight their way back to the top.”

I’m not sure my mother will ever get to that point.

“She didn’t leave you with nothing Kyra, she gave you an amazing gift.”

I try to see him through all the unshed tears.

“She gave you Gran. Your mother knew you’d be safe.”

He leans in kissing my forehead before stepping back and dropping his arms once again. “Do what you need to do, handle it how you see fit, and when you’re ready you know where I’ll be.” He turns and starts to walk away before pausing and glancing back over his shoulder. “Do me a favor though and don’t make me way too long, because I do miss you.”

I stay where I am, watching the back of him as he walks toward the barn. When he steps inside and I can no longer see him, I turn around and pull open my car door. Climbing inside I fight the urge to cry as I back down the driveway and turn out onto the main road.

I want to go back to him.

I fight it for miles, but I know until I can forgive Rose, I won’t be able to move on completely with Garrett. And he deserves all of me.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-THREE

Garrett

“I needa weekend crew to finish up the roof on Leon’s garage,” I don’t even look back toward Reed, I just lift my hand up in the air.

“Garrett, you've worked the last two weekends.”

“And I’ll work this one too,” I say again not acknowledging that everyone still standing around is now watching me. I can practically feel their eyes burning holes in me. Not to mention they’ve all been hovering around me as if at any time I may fall apart or worse, explode.

“Why don’t you—,”

“I could use the money,” I finally look up, “I just bought the land on McClure and if things work out I’ll be breaking ground next month.”

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