Page 47 of Bedhead

Not about every dirty detail, but the gist of it? Yeah. I’ve had a good fuckin’ life, the kind every musician dreams of. Money, sex, drugs, rock ’n’ roll.

Did I mention sex?

Don’t think I don’t know what you’re hoping to read, and trust me, I’ve got stories for days. I’ve only got eyes and a massive hard-on for my Angel now, but everything that came before? I’m not ashamed of a damn thing, but I do feel the need to set a few things straight. Well…maybe not sostraight.

Of course, my lawyer insists I change the names of some of these fuckers so I can’t be sued, but it’s not my fault they did stupid shit. Hell, so did I, so here you go, life on the road for over a decade, all for your entertainment and pleasure.

Suit up your dicks; it’s gonna be ahardride…

Tales of Debauchery Include:

The Night of the Nothing, an $837,000 Bar Tab, and a Water Buffalo

Maybe Don’t Cover Your Naked Body in Whipped Cream in a Room of Groupies…Or Do

Trent Motherfucking Knox Is a Cock Who Liked My Cock (And I Dare You to Sue Me, Asshole)

You Thought I Didn’t Know About Paris Featuring I’m Not Saying Shit but Their Names Rhyme With Blade and Wagger

Falling for an Angel (Throwing in Some Sweet Shit to Balance the Depravity)

A Game of Boa Constrictor or Dick? (Told You. Depravity.)

And after all that, I’ve still got a few secrets left to tell.

Hudson shook his head before looking over at me. “This about what you expected so far?”

“Oh yeah. But that Trent Knox chapter is gonna get us a takedown notice.”

“Definitely. I’m a little worried for the water buffalo scene, whatever that entails. PETA has an itchy trigger finger.”

Did I notice that while we’d been reading, we’d both somehow moved closer and now our legs were touching?

Yes. Yes, I certainly had. But Hudson hadn’t.

Clearing my throat, I nodded back to the screen. “So which of those did Viper send?”

Hudson scrolled to the next page.

Why don’t we kick things off with an early doozy from our first year on the road?

TBD’s rise was stratospheric. You put five young, horny guys on a grinding international tour and they’re bound to need some release. Although I do want to be clear that these guys are my brothers, aside from the one who walked out of the band later, so sword crossing of any kind was crossing a hard limit.

That’s not to say we didn’t enjoy a few group activities from time to time…

As Viper went into detail about what—and whom—those group activities consisted of, I realized exactly why Hudson hadn’t wanted to be so close reading this. I’d severely underestimated the effect of what Viper’s words would have on my frustrated dick.

Shiiit.I was already hunched over with my elbows on my knees so he wouldn’t see how hard I was getting. He’d slam the laptop shut and run off if he noticed.

Being this close to the man I’d done several of these dirty deeds to in the past was not helping my current situation, but I kept reading.

The first night we opened for Red Minute, they threw us a “welcome to the shitshow” afterparty at Syn in Las Vegas. That place lives up to its name inmanyways, some of which I’m not allowed to say (don’t worry, it’s a rare occurrence), but for the purposes of that night, we’d commandeered a suite overlooking the Strip.

And reading.

…when each of us TBD guys were blindfolded and taken inside, I thought there’d be some big-ass surprise party and a shit-ton of liquor. I should’ve known better. The bastards handcuffed us in a line, each of us to the other, then removed our blindfolds and pants. We were bare-assed up against a floor-to-ceiling window so everyone on the Strip could watch the gaggle of twentysomethings on their knees for an initiation called “who will blow first…”

As he went into vivid detail, my heart rate kicked up a little more…

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