Page 14 of Valiant

Computers weren’t his world, but he respected her knowledge and the fact that she’d dumbed down her response for him. The full story was probably a whole lot more technical than that.

“Dammit,” she said when her sandwich was half gone. “Blocked again—and at the same point. What the hell program did Dad use to encrypt this?”

“Maybe you should walk away for a few hours,” he suggested. “Take a nap. Do something else. Clear your head a little so you can come back to this fresh.”

“Can’t,” she said, her fingers moving over the keys, her lunch forgotten. “Time’s ticking away, and I have to get answers. I’ve got the next software queued to start. It’s a program that takes significantly longer to run, and it’s tricky to load.” Eddy’s cry came through the monitor just then. “Darn it. I was hoping he’d snooze longer.” She started to get up.

“Let me,” Cole said, putting his hands on her shoulders to re-settle her. The move made her wish that he’d dig his thumbs into the sore muscles along the back of her neck, the way he used to when he tried to coax her away from her computer and into bed.

No. Not possible.

She moved just out of his grasp and turned to quirk an eyebrow at him. “That’d be nice.”

“No problem.” Cole headed up the stairs and went into Eddy’s room. The baby was stretched out on his back, staring up at the mobile overhead. He didn’t seem upset, just awake. When Cole leaned down to pick him up a smile appeared on the baby’s face. A real smile of recognition. Cole had seen Eddy gaze at his mother wearing the same lovesick expression, but it was the first time his son had directed it at him.

Cole fought off the wave of confusing emotions that flooded him.

“Come here,” Cole said softly, a pang going through him as he lifted the boy. He was thrilled that his son recognized him and trusted him, but the moment also brought a measure of anxiety. He hadn’t signed on for this.

At one time in his life, all Cole had wanted was to be a father, to love a child as much as his parents loved him. But that was long ago. His dream of love and commitment and family had died when the woman he’d thought was his true love had cheated on him and mocked him for believing such a thing existed. It had been too much—not just discovering the woman he’d loved was someone he didn’t know at all, but also learning just how thoroughly he’d fooled himself, ignoring the problems and refusing to see the warning signs. He’d been in love with the idea of being in love—and after that heartbreaking wake-up call, he’d killed the dream forever. He couldn’t trust himself in a real, committed relationship—not when he wanted it so badly that he couldn’t tell the difference between true love and an illusion.

Not that Kelsey would ever cheat on him the way Amanda had. She was way too honest and honorable to ever do something like that. But there were other ways for love to go wrong. Like if he’d found himself all in, only to discover that Kelsey didn’t care quite as much for him in return. She’d been so calm and rational when she’d told him about the baby, making it clear that she could handle it on her own, that she didn’t need him. Part of a partnership was learning to rely on someone else, but Kelsey wasn’t willing to allow it. It had terrified him to think of committing to a relationship where it would be so easy for her to walk away. So he’d walked away first.

But now, here he was again—in Kelsey’s house, spending every day with her…and with their son. In some ways, it was incredible, showing him the role he could have here, the part he could fill in their lives. But he couldn’t let himself get too attached. His place in their lives was temporary. And when Kelsey no longer needed his protection, she’d have no further reason to keep him around.

Eddy kicked his legs, pushing off Cole’s stomach. “You’re strong, little man, but you don’t smell so good.” Eddy continued to smile and kick his legs as Cole changed his diaper and put a fresh onesie on him. It was a bit of a wrestling match, but he was proud of himself for managing it.

“Your mama’s downstairs,” he said to the boy as they walked out of the nursery and headed to the kitchen. “She’s one stressed lady at the moment. Can you help me distract her?” The baby cooed and smiled at the sound of his voice, making him melt a little. Cole went through the swinging door into the kitchen and found Kelsey exactly as she had been.

“Is he hungry?” she asked. “It’s a little early for his next feeding.”

“I think he’s just awake,” Cole said. He was no expert, but he was starting to figure things out. He held the baby out to her. She kissed his forehead, earning a huge smile. For a second, Cole saw her relax, and then her laptop beeped.

“Crap,” she said with a glance at the screen. “The software’s conflicting with another program. I’ll have to remove it and reboot.”

“You’ll make this work.” He gently touched her arm, hoping to ground her, but she jumped.

“I have to,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. He’d been where she was on missions, feeling all the pressure of success or failure, but burning herself out wouldn’t help her dad. He needed a plan to force her to take some time off.

“I’ll take Eddy into the living room.” As he left the kitchen, he swiped her phone off the table. She was too intent on typing in commands to notice. He propped Eddy up in the corner of the couch and unlocked her phone. He’d seen her do it enough that he’d figured out that her passcode was Eddy’s birthdate. Once it was open, he found Maureen’s number and dialed it.

“Hi, Kelsey,” Maureen answered. “What’s going on? I haven’t heard from you.”

“It’s not Kelsey,” he explained. “I’m using her phone to call you. This is Cole. I need a favor.”

“Is she okay? Is Eddy?” The instant concern in Maureen’s voice made him like the woman, even though it had been obvious that she had no use for him.

“They’re fine, but Kelsey is hyper stressed about her dad’s situation.” He could say that much since Maureen already knew about Edwin’s disappearance. She’d probably seen the news stories, too. “I was hoping you could come over and ease some of her tension. She needs someone to talk to other than me.”

“Of course I can,” Maureen said. “I have time for a visit before picking up my daughter from soccer practice. I’ll be there in thirty. Is that good?”

“Great. I appreciate it.” He hung up and looked at Eddy. He’d slipped down some, but he seemed fascinated with the soft material of the cushions. His little fingertips stroked over the fabric. Cole felt the same pang as he had in the nursery. He didn’t know if he could be part of Eddy’s life, but he didn’t know if he could walk away, either, now that he was really getting to know his son. “What are we going to do, buddy?” he asked the child, who gave him a wide-eyed look. “I guess for now we’ll play.”

While he waited for Maureen to arrive, he put Eddy under the jungle gym and watched as he reached for the hanging objects. When he was tired of grabbing for the stuffed animals and rings, Eddy began rocking from side to side until he built up the momentum to roll over onto his tummy. “Good work,” Cole said and picked the boy up just as the doorbell rang.

He took a minute to check the door cam. Maureen stood outside, holding two cups of to-go coffee.

“Thanks for coming,” Cole said when he opened the door.

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