Page 108 of Coldhearted King

I narrow my gaze, but what do I have to lose? I nod. “Go ahead.”

“You’ve never had a problem telling Roman no before. Why did you go along with this marriage arrangement?”

Something flippant hovers on my tongue, but I can’t bring myself to say it. Trivializing what I’m doing feels like a disservice to Delilah. So I tell him the truth. “That whole thing about ‘it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’ is bullshit. Believing you have something special and then seeing it disappear in front of your eyes is far worse. If I’m going to end up in a loveless marriage, I’d rather not start off with the illusion that it’s more.”

He seems to understand. “You won’t miss what you never had.”

“Exactly.” Except, even as I say it, I know it might be too late for me. I’ve had Delilah now, and I don’t know if the memory of the warmth in her smile and the heat of her touch will ever fade or if I’ll carry around this ache in my chest for the rest of my days.

“I’m sorry I messed with you on Saturday,” Tate says, knocking me out of my reverie.

“Why did you?” Even with our new truce, I’m not sure I won’t punch him if he says something I don’t like about Delilah.

“Because I liked you better when you were with her. You look too much like our father with Jessica on your arm.”

I wince. “You don’t pull any punches, do you?”

He raises his brows. “Do you want me to?”

“No. It will be nice to have one person I can rely on to tell me the truth.”

A slow grin crosses his face and out of nowhere, a surge of affection hits me. “You may live to regret that,” he says.

I push myself to my feet. “I’m sure I’ll start regretting it as soon as I leave this room.”

His chuckle follows me out of the office, and as I walk back to mine, I feel the slightest lightening in my chest for the first time since I told Delilah I was marrying Jessica. It’s bittersweet, though, because I’m not sure the possibility of a better relationship with my brother would have been possible without Delilah.

The lightness doesn’t last. As I take a seat behind my desk, a wave of regret hits me. Even when she’s not with me, she’s making my life better.

But I haven’t done the same for her.

And now I’ll never get the chance.

CHAPTERFORTY-ONE

DELILAH

Mom hands me a steaming cup of tea. I lift it to my lips and breathe in the soothing peppermint scent as she sits down next to me. Tonight is my first night back at home, and although I’m happy to see Mom, my heart still aches. It seems ridiculous. How can I mourn something that was never real to begin with? And yet, I do. If it’s this hard for me, I can’t imagine how Mom must have felt when my dad walked away from her, especially since she was pregnant with me.

Mom places a comforting hand on my back. “How are you doing, sweetheart?”

There’s no point in lying. “I just feel sad all the time. And angry. I’m angry too. But mostly sad and embarrassed.” I look down, a lump forming in my throat.

She gently rubs my back. “You have every right to be angry and sad. That’s normal when any relationship ends. But why are you embarrassed?”

“I should have known better. I did know better, but I did it anyway. Got involved with a rich man and fell in love. I did everything you warned me against doing.”

Mom sighs and brushes some hair off my face. “Warning someone when it comes to matters of the heart never works. I should know. My parents warned me enough.” She laughs softly. “And they were right. And they were wrong, too. Because look what I got.” She smiles at me, love shining in her eyes.

I can’t help but smile back, and I lean into her, laying my head on her shoulder. “I love you too.”

“Don’t let one selfish man harden your heart, sweetheart. There will be others. Men who will love you for all that you are. And then that one special man who steals your heart and refuses to let it go.”

“That wasn’t the case for you, though, Mom,” I say softly.

“Well,” she says, “I had more love than I needed with my little snuggle bug.” She smiles, using the childhood nickname she used to call me.

I laugh through my tears. “I haven’t been a snuggle bug for a while.”

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