Page 41 of Someday

I don’t sleep at all and I’m not sure how she’s managed to, being back where those atrocities took place.

Instead, I watch as she leans her head against the wall and falls asleep during one of our brief lulls in conversation. It’s around three in the morning, and only when I know she’s sound asleep do I consider leaving. I help her lie down, her eyes opening groggily for a second. She smiles up at me, which cracks open my heart a little more. I put the blanket over her and sit there for another hour just in case she wakes up again and am grateful when she doesn’t, because I cry my motherfucking heart out.

The guilt I feel, knowing she carried such secrets all this time, that there were signs in front of me all along…well, I never considered that I would one day understand why she left me, but now I do.

What kind of shit best friend/boyfriend doesn’t know his girlfriend is being abused?

Something tells me that last night she just barely scratched the surface of what she’s been through.

The baggage I’ve been carrying around over Sofie Copewell hasn’t gone away overnight, but it’s like the largest suitcase I’ve been lugging has been replaced by a three-piece mismatched, heavier set.

All that weight aside, this is not about me.

But I have to say, all this righteous indignation I’ve been spouting at her because I’ve been so butt-hurt makes me feel like the smallest kind of person now that I know more of the story.

I have so many questions that I may never know the answers to, but I decide as I’m on my way to deliver a colt, that I’m going to be there for her.

The friend she needed me to be all along.

She might rip my heart to shreds again, even if unintentionally, since I know she’s the person I will always be in love with, but I’ll just have to deal with that when the time comes.

I send her a voice-to-text message before I arrive at the Blockard ranch in the next town over, deciding to go with honesty.

It was hard to leave you. Can’t stop thinking about everything and just want to let you know I’m here. I might not have been there for you the way I should’ve been before, but I want to be a better friend to you now.

I meet Harvey Blockard outside his barn, and he leads the way to his mare. It’s an easy delivery, and I’m back on the road within a couple of hours.

And there’s a text from Sofie waiting for me.

Sofie

You’ve always been the best friend I could ever hope to have.

Which stirs up the anger I feel toward her father, her mother, and myself all over again. I turn the music up in my truck and slam my fist on the steering wheel, feeling like I’m crawling out of my skin.

When I get home, I put on my running clothes and go out with Fred for a long run. I dump my work overalls in the washer before taking a shower. And then before I can overthink it, I get back in the truck. Fred and I stop by Sunny Side to pick up some burgers, fries, and shakes.

“Missed you and Grinny this week,” Jo says.

Jo and her husband own the place and they’ve always been so good to me and my family.

“Yeah, we had to push back our normal date here because of the preparations for the parade.”

“Well, don’t forget about us,” she says, winking.

“Impossible.”

I grin at her and hop back in my truck, driving straight to Sofie. It might be a mistake to just show up without warning, but I hope it will be a nice surprise.

When I pull into her driveway, a car I don’t recognize is parked outside the house, and I almost turn around and leave before anyone can see me, but I don’t. I drive around to the stables and park next to Sofie’s SUV.

Fred blazes out of the truck, but then he waits for me and we walk into the stables together.

“Hello?” I call.

No answer.

I walk through the stalls and then go back to her office, knocking lightly on the door.

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