Page 107 of Someday

The talk with Aunt Hilary and Abby goes about how I expected it to. It’s awful. There are a lot of tears and regret, but they’re so compassionate and considerate of what I might need from all of this that it makes me glad I told them. It’s another weight lifted off of me.

“You might feel differently, but I don’t really feel the need to tell everyone the truth about what happened to Mom. As far as I’m concerned, the people who needed to know were you and Theo, his family too, just so they don’t always fear that I’m going to leave him again…but we can talk about it if you’d rather the truth come out.”

“I stand behind your decision,” Aunt Hilary says. “And if you change your mind later and want the world to know, I’ll stand behind that too.” Her hand is in mine, and she shakes it slightly. “As hard as it was to hear, it also put some pieces into place. Things that I always thought I was imagining or that maybe I had done something to push my sister away.”

Her eyes fill again, and I keep thinking I’m all cried out until more tears keep falling.

“Hearing how both of you suffered, I will never forgive myself for not knowing it while it was happening,” she says. “I’m so sorry.”

“You can’t be sorry for believing the lies your sister told you,” I tell her. “I heard her defend him so many times, and I know she was just a victim to her circumstances, so I don’t blame her more than I blame him for what he did. But I do wish I’d seen her try to get us out of the situation more than she did.”

My exhale is shaky, and I let go of Aunt Hilary’s hand to blow my nose.

“It took me a long time to admit that. It always felt so wrong to blame my mom for anything after she died. I always wished she’d choose me…but I know how helpless he made me feel, so I can only imagine how she must have felt.”

“I’m just so proud of you, Sofie. You’re such a survivor. Despite every obstacle from both of your parents, you left everything you knew and started over on your own…an incredibly kind and loving person…and with a backbone too, because you came back to face Theo and this town.” Aunt Hilary lets out a loud snort when she tries to hold back a sob, and that makes the three of us laugh.

“I can’t get over what a remarkable human you are,” Abby adds. “But I’m honored to know you and be a part of your family.”

“Thank you. I’m so glad you’re part of our family too.”

“I have to say…I’m thinking very differently about this house now,” Aunt Hilary says.

I make a face. “I slept in the barn unless you were visiting…”

Sadness washes over Aunt Hilary’s features. “I hate that so much.”

“Yeah, I hate being here. I don’t know why the stables have been a little better since it feels like my dad’s going to be just around the corner every time I go in there, but he didn’t hurt us out there. It was all in this house.” I lean in. “But if you guys want this house, I’m all for it. I’ll be moving the horses to Theo’s property once the new stables are built, so you won’t have to worry about them so much. Did I thank you for taking care of them at the last minute?”

“Several times,” Abby says, laughing.

“It helped so much. And I can’t wait for you to meet Marlow and Dakota. They’re resting today. Dakota’s not been feeling well, but I’d love for you to come over and meet them soon.”

Aunt Hilary smiles. “Just say when and we’ll be there.”

She looks around the room and sags back into her chair. “I’m afraid even significantly remodeling the place won’t get rid of the gross feelings.”

“I’ve thought about tearing it down,” I admit. “And we have a lot of acres…you could build a house you love somewhere else on the property.”

“Youhave a lot of acres. This is yours, Sofie. We’re not moving to Landmark to swoop in on this land. You should get as much money out of this property as you can if you don’t want to keep it.”

“You know what I’d really love to do here?” I pull my leg up on my chair and have a memory of my mom telling me to not sit like this at the table.

I smile at the thought of her, happy that it’s not a bad memory, but I don’t move my leg off of the chair.

For a long time after she died, my memories of her were painted in watercolors, a soft colorful wash over what really was. It’s taken all of this time—perhaps it took being back here in Landmark and in this house—to have things sharpen into focus.

My mom was flawed and beautiful, broken and smarter than she gave herself credit for. She cared too much about what the wrong people thought, and she made a dangerous choice in who she chose to love.

I can look at the full picture and neither hate her for any of it nor wear rosy-tinted glasses when I think of her and our complicated relationship.

“What?” Abby taps on the table excitedly. “You’re leaving us hanging here.”

I laugh and roll my eyes. “Sorry. My mind is going a hundred different directions.” I look out the window at the expanse of land and the mountains. It really is lovely. “I’d like to rescue more horses and I’d need to decide whether I wanted to rehabilitate and rehome them or if I’d be their last safe place. This might complicate it, but I can imagine opening it up to people who need to be…rescued too. They could help with the horses and be part of their healing process. The house could be renovated to be more of an inn for anyone who stayed. We could call it Morgan’s Sanctuary…Morgan’s House & Sanctuary?”

Aunt Hilary and Abby stare at me, both with tears in their eyes. The tears spill over onto Aunt Hilary’s cheeks when she stands up and leans over to hug me.

“I love every part of this plan. What can we do to make it happen?” she says.

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