Page 21 of Tinsel and Teasing

“Doesn’t matter now. You got what you wanted.”

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

“Fuuuck.” He groans, mutters to himself, and slumps. “I can’t be mad at you. You have nothing to be sorry about. I let women ogle me for a living. People in town know what I do. I should be the one who’s sorry. If you’ll come back, I’ll quit. I’ll help Luke restore cars. Or Knox could teach me how to do some of his financial stuff. I don’t want to lose you. I’ll quit if that would show you that I care about you.”

Crap. All I wanted to do was patch things over, not have him upend his life for me.

“I don’t want you to do anything drastic. It’s really important that I get my degree, finish this internship, and get a glowing recommendation because they’ll probably hire me, and I’ll be able to support myself.”

“You don’t have to. We’ll take care of you.” He’s decidedly more optimistic, but his words are exactly what Grandma warned me about. It’s all good in the beginning, she said.

How much am I ready to reveal? I sort which facts I can deliver with minimum confusing feelings. “I don’t have good role models in my family. Everybody’s divorced. I need to know that I can take care of myself. I hope you can understand.”

“How can I possibly understand what it’s like to be afraid of love after I’ve met you, Isadora? But I will try if you’ll let me.”

I cringe. “I’m not afraid of love. I just don’t want to be dependent on a man and live out another ugly divorce like everyone else in my family.”

“See, you’re teaching me already.” How can he stay positive when he’s pushing all of my nervous buttons?

“My internship…it’s in the city. It’s a drive even from Peach Bottom Valley. I couldn’t do that from the mountains every day. And how would I get to school and have time to study if I’m hanging out with you guys? My schedule’s too busy for a relationship.”

Stating it so clearly was supposed to feel good. It doesn’t.

“Not all relationships mean that you have to give everything up. We could find ways to make it work. We all love you.”

I’m not falling for that. If I stay with them, no amount of birth control could stop their efforts to fill me with a baby. And what would I do on winter days like this when my car couldn’t get down the road? It simply can’t work.

“Let’s be honest. Even if there was such a thing as true love, it doesn’t happen between four people. It’ll be easier for all of us if we make a clean break. Maybe a booty call once in a while. If you guys want something more permanent, there were a lot of women at the auction who seem to wish you would’ve bid on them.”

“We don’t have interest in them.”

“I’m sorry, but a relationship isn’t something I’m ready for right now.” My keys are already in my hand, and I hop out as he pulls up next to my car. This has to end quickly because my determination is dangling by a thread.

Fourteen

Clyde

ThecloserIgetto home, the more I know I fucked up. Isadora might have started as a fan, but that’s not what she ended up as.

She wants so much out of life, and I’m convinced that I can provide it for her if she’ll let me help. I don’t know how, but I can, especially with Luke and Knox because there’s something about the four of us that works.

My brothers call multiple times while I’m on my way home, but I turn my phone off and make the drive in silence.

We need a game plan. Going after her right now isn’t going to work. My temper flared. Her temper flared. I was hurt. She was hurt. Even with my apology, her defenses stayed up.

I’ll regret until the day I die, and then some, having gotten mad at her. That’s why I need a game plan to win her back, to show her that I can protect her and care for her, thatwecan.

She can still have all of her goals and aspirations and dogs and have us too.

Knox is outside splitting wood. It’s his go-to physical activity any time he’s stressed.

I park the truck in the garage and get out.

Luke’s facing the Firebird. His elbows rest on top of the car and he leans into his fists.

“Why the fuck did you insist on taking her home?” he says, without turning around.

“Because everything fell apart. I panicked. I thought she was doing this for the wrong reasons. I was mad at her for deceiving me.”

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