Page 96 of Seduced By You

After lunch, I went for a walk. A touch unsteady on my feet—normal in cases of severe concussion, apparently—I stayed close to the wall, ready to brace myself if my legs buckled. I found myself on the seventh floor outside the restaurant. I ordered a coffee and sat by the window. The snow had stopped, and the temperatures must’ve increased because instead of pristine snow, gray slush covered the ground. I preferred that. A blanket of fresh snowfall was too perfect, too much of a reminder of what I’d had. What I’d lost.

I let out a short laugh. This wallowing in self-pity had to stop. I was alive, healthy, rich enough that I didn’t need to worry about paying the bills even without a regular income. So what if I’d probably scare young children on the streets or have to suffer people gawking at me without an ounce of shame? I’d lived my whole life with people staring at me. Except now, they’d stare in disgust or horror, or pity.

Fuck them.

Fuck them all.

I didn’t need anyone.

Dumping my half-full cup in the trash, I made my way back to my room. I opened the door. For a split second, my heart soared. Kadon. He’d come. Then I caught it. The flick of his gaze to my cheek. The wince he tried so hard not to show, yet failing miserably. The way he wrung his hands and fidgeted.

I flattened my lips. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.”

“I told you not to bother.”

Swallowing, he ran his tongue along the inside of his mouth. “I won’t stay long.” He stuffed his hands deep into the pocket of his jeans, his hair falling over his forehead as he stared at his feet.

“Good. I’m tired.” I peeled back the covers and climbed into the hospital bed, laying my head on the pillow, my eyes on a deep crack in the ceiling. They really should fix that before it worsened.

“Have they said when they plan to release you?”

“No.” The lie tripped so easily off my tongue. I no more wanted Kadon to know when I might get out of here than my parents. I yearned to go home, pick up Dash, and lock myself away until I figured out how to live with this new version of me.

“Let me know when they do. I’ll have a car drive you home.”

Not “I’ll drive you home,” but “I’ll have a car drive you.”I get the message, Kadon. Loud and fucking clear.

“Thanks.” Easier to accept than to argue over something so pointless. He’d made his decision, and I couldn’t be bothered to try to change his mind.

“I’m sorry, Lee.”

“So you said yesterday.”

“I’ve gone over and over this in my mind. There isn’t an easy way to say this.” He ran a hand through his hair. “This… what happened to you, it’s my fault. I’m responsible. I killed Henry, and I almost killed you. There’s something about me that’s poison. Everything I touch, I ruin. You’re better off without me.”

I sneered, my lip curling. I’d read him right. He was here to formally break up with me, but even I hadn’t expected this approach. “So that’s your play.”

Fake confusion wrinkled his forehead. “Play? What play?”

“The self-flagellation, self-blame, self-pity, or any other self ‘add adjective here to suit.’ I’m no longer the flawless beauty, but instead of owning up to that, you hide behind the ‘it’s all my fault’ bullshit. The ‘I’m doing this for you’ crap.” I pointed two fingers at my eyes, then swiveled them in his direction. “I see you, Kadon. Be honest. You can’t bear to look at me anymore, can you?”

He paled, his eyes bulging. “I can’t believe you’d say that.” His voice shook, as did his hands. “This isn’t to do with you, Lee.” He punched his chest. “It’s me. I’m toxic.”

“Yeah, you are.” I poured myself a glass of water, sipping it, the coolness a soothing balm to the fire in my throat, the charred embers of my heart floating around my chest. “So go. Get out of here. I don’t need you. I’m better off alone.”

He stayed where he was, his face frozen in stunned disbelief. Ah, he’d expected me to beg him to change his mind, to crawl on my hands and knees and plead with him not to leave me. Exactly as I had in my dream. Well, too bad. I’d beg no man. Not even him.

And dreams were just that. Make-believe.

“Get out!” I screamed.

The nurse burst into my room. Half the hospital had probably heard me. She planted one hand on her hip, the other she used to gesture to Kadon.

“Monsieur, I think it’s best if you leave now.”

He glanced at me. I turned away.

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