Page 67 of Seduced By You

But life was short. How would I feel if something happened to Maman and Papa and I hadn’t tried to make amends? To at least attempt to build the bridges my mother had taken a sledgehammer to.

Kadon ran the back of his finger down my arm. “You’re thinking about your folks, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. I miss them. A lot. But I’m so mad at them. Maman said some terrible things when I told her I was quitting modeling.”

“What sort of things? You never said.”

“No. They hurt too much.”

“I’m here if you want to talk.”

I smiled at him, but it didn’t stick. Sadness enveloped me. It came in waves, usually when I least expected it. My parents weren’t dead, not like Julian’s mother, but the loss and grief felt real.

“Maman pressed on one of my greatest fears.” I stared at my hands. I really should get a manicure while I was here. My nail polish was chipping in places.

“Which was?”

“Ever since I was little and picked up by a modeling agency, I’ve been told I’m pretty and beautiful and gorgeous and all thosephysicaldescriptions. But I wasn’t ever told I was good or kind, or a nice person, or thoughtful. Or clever. I grew up terrified no one would take me seriously, that I had nothing to offer the world.”

“That’s not true.”

“I wish I could believe that. Deep down, you know? I mean, I can logically say yes, you’re right. I know I have brains. I know I’m more than a pretty face. But I only know those things when I’m on steady ground. The minute I’m knocked off-balance by a cutting article or a hurtful word, I find it all too easy to slip back into the belief that I’ll never amount to anything more than the sum of my looks.”

“Lee.” His face twisted, my pain as hurtful to him as it was to me. I couldn’t love him more.

“Anyway, when I told Maman I wanted to quit modeling at the height of my career, she… she…” I breathed in deeply. “She said I wasn’t bright enough to do anything else and that I should wring the most out of my looks before they faded rather than throw away the only career I’d ever have.”

“What the fuck?” Kadon’s eyes smoldered with resentment, and he fisted his hands.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “It’s like… you know the very worst things you think about yourself, the thoughts you have in your darkest moments but you daren’t say out loud in case others agree with you? Well, imagine the one person in the world who should support you agreeing that those terrible things you think about yourself are, in fact, true.” I gestured out to the sides. “My mother, ladies and gentlemen.” Pointing my chin at the privacy screen, I forced a smile. “Good thing that’s up. This poor guy doesn’t need to hear my woes.”

“But this guy does.”

Kadon unclipped his seat belt and shuffled over to my side of the limo, wrapping me in his muscular arms. I blinked away approaching tears. Kindness was one of those things that always made it difficult for me to hold back emotions.

“What about your dad? Didn’t he have something to say about that?”

“Ah, Papa. He’s always capitulated to Maman. It doesn’t make him weak.” No idea why I was defending my father, but I couldn’t help it. “He’s so in love with Maman that he always puts her first. Even above me, his only child. But I know he’ll never stop trying to coax her into making amends. He’ll just do it in a subtle way, one that doesn’t yield instant results.”

“When your mother said those horrible things to you, what was your response?”

“Ah.” I grimaced. “Here’s where you realize I’m as much at fault as she is.”

“You bawled her out, didn’t you?”

I bit my lip. “Li’l bit.”

“Ouch. Then again, she shouldn’t be able to say whatever she likes and get away with it just because she’s your mother.”

“No.” I rested my head on his shoulder. “I don’t want you to think badly of her. She’s always wanted the very best for me. But on this occasion, she went about it entirely the wrong way.”

“Parents. They’re tricky people to handle.”

“You don’t seem to have any problems.”

“Normally, no, but the conversation I had with my father while the captain was showing you around the flight deck wasn’t a comfortable one.”

“Why?”