Page 100 of Seduced By You

That’s what big brothers are for.

Raindrops pepperedmy jacket and dampened my hair, and my ass grew numb from sitting in the same position for hours. I should go inside and sleep off the copious amounts of brandy I’d drunk.

Except, I couldn’t. Every time I ordered my legs to move, they disobeyed me.

An explosion of fireworks lit up the sky, and the sound of revelers partying on the beach drifted over. New Year’s Eve. I should be here with Lee, snuggled up underneath a cozy blanket on the third-floor balcony of my beachfront villa, enjoying the celebrations. Instead, here I was, alone like a storm-tossed wreck.

I was a wreck all right. A fucking useless wreck.

The same thought whizzed around my head, over and over. This was my fault.My fault.I’d been behind the wheel. I hadn’t had the skills to stop the car from skidding and plunging down a mountainside. Lee’s injuries were down to me.

Everything I touched, I ruined.

What was it she’d said at the hospital before she’d kicked me out that first day? Something about managing my guilt and not being new at it?

She wasn’t wrong. For more than nine years, I’d worn guilt like a second skin, and the car accident had buffed it up, given it a fresh coat of paint, so to speak. Except the paint was filled with lead, and the weight, this time, might crush me.

A woman squealed, her excitement ripping through the air as a man picked her up and ran into the sea. He dunked them both. They came up for air, laughing. The laughter stopped, and the kissing began.

I turned away, pain ripping through my chest. Lee and I should have remained friends. If I hadn’t opened Pandora’s box and suggested that stupid fake relationship, she’d still be here with me, celebrating New Year’s snuggled and cozy and oblivious to my feelings.

And I wouldn’t have this crushing guilt to deal with all over again.

Reaching down, I swiped the bottle of brandy off the wooden deck and gulped another mouthful. The alcohol burned as it trickled down my throat. Didn’t matter how much I drank; the pain stayed the same. Raw, agonizing. Warranted.

She was better off without me. I’d always thought it, yet I’d dared to hope, dared todreamshe could be mine. I didn’t deserve her. Not then. Not now. Not ever.

Poison. Toxic. Ruinous.

Described me perfectly.

The all-consuming love I had for Lee, unrequited now, was my punishment. Living with this pain for the rest of my life was my destiny. I’d never meet another woman like her, and I didn’t want to. I should spend my life alone. That way, I couldn’t bring this noxious malignancy into someone else’s life.

A cab pulled into my driveway. My heart leapt, my pulse juddering. Stupid heart. Stupid pulse. It wouldn’t be Lee. She had no reason to come here. She’d made her feelings clear when she’d left the hospital without taking up my offer of a ride home, a fact I’d discovered when I’d called to check on her. We might’ve broken up, but I’d never stop worrying about Lee, caring about her, praying for her happiness as I prayed for Samuel’s.

Blaize stepped out of the cab. His gaze drifted up to me. He must’ve seen me sitting here from the back seat.

Here we go.

It didn’t take a genius to work out the reason for Blaize’s uninvited visit. I’d spoken with Dad briefly after the accident to reassure him I wasn’t hurt. Since then, he’d called several times. As had Blaize and Nolen. Even my cousin Johannes had left a voicemail. I’d answered none of them. Better to wallow in self-pity alone than drag my family into the mess I’d created.

Blaize must’ve drawn the short straw, sent across the Atlantic to deal with the wayward son. The fuckup. The failure. The idiot trouble followed wherever I went.

Sighing, I set the brandy bottle on the ground and heaved my ass out of the chair. I braced myself against the wall of the house.That’s what a half bottle of brandy will do.Worst of all, the alcohol hadn’t numbed the pain. If anything, it’d accentuated my misery.

I answered the door with a glower. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

Shoving his overnight bag into my solar plexus, Blaize arched an eyebrow. “I beg to differ. Behave like a child, get treated as one.”

Without waiting for an invite, he marched into my house, but not without giving me a sniff first.

“Take a shower, Kadon. You smell like shit.”

“No, I smell like brandy.”

“Cut the attitude. I’ve had a long flight. I’m up to my eyeballs with work, and I could do without this.”

“So fuck off. I never asked you to come.” I left the front door open, dropping his bag at my feet.

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