Page 23 of Too Late

The thin layer of his shirt is damp from the tears that are pouring down my cheeks. I don’t even know why I’m crying. Maybe it’s because, until this moment, I had no idea what it felt like to be valued. What it felt like to be respected. Until this moment, I had no idea what it felt like to be cared for.

No one should have to experience a life never feeling truly cared for—not even by the parents who created them. Yet I’ve lived that for twenty-one years now.

Until this moment.

SIXTEEN

CARTER

Iclose my eyes and continue to hold her while she quietly cries against my chest. I hold her until dusk turns into dark and what was left of the light is engulfed by a blanket of stars.

I hold her until I hear a car about to turn onto the street. I glance up, but they turn and go in the opposite direction. She remains pressed against my shirt, but the thought of Asa or even Dalton seeing me with her right now is at the forefront of my mind.

I shouldn’t be here comforting her. It can only cause more problems for her.

Because she’s right. I can’t save her. As much as I want to, we’re both stuck. I can’t risk ruining something that is so much bigger than just the two of us. I can’t sacrifice what it is I’m here to do for the sake of helping her leave. That’s something she’ll have to do on her own and when she’s financially able.

And every moment I hold her, every time I grab her hand, every time I sit next to her in class, every time I put her in more and more of these harmless situations—I’m pushing her closer and closer to the edge of a cliff. If I don’t figure out how to back away from her … I’ll end up watching her fall.

I release my hold from around her and pull back, but she remains clutched to my shirt. I grab her hands and pull them away from me. She lifts her head and looks up at me, her eyes as red and swollen as I suddenly wish her lips were.

Stop thinking like this, Luke.

I stand up and she grabs at my shirt to pull me back, confusion rampant in her eyes.

“Let go,” I whisper.

Her hands fall to her lap and she breaks our stare. She pulls her feet up onto the bench and hugs her knees, crying into her arms. Walking away from her is about to take all the strength I have.

“You’re right, Sloan,” I say as I back away from her. “I can’t save you.”

I turn around and begin walking back to my car, each step harder than the last. I don’t turn around when I open the door. I climb inside the car and drive to her house without once looking back.

When I walk through the front door, I can tell by the state of the living room and the noise from the backyard that this is going to be a long night.

I make my way through the house and to the backyard. There are several people scattered around. No one even looks up when I walk outside. There are four girls in the pool putting on a spectacle. Two of them have the other two perched up on their shoulders and they’re trying to knock each other off into the water. Jon and Dalton are standing beside the pool, beers in hand, cheering for whomever they’ve bet on.

Asa is sitting at the side of the pool with his feet dangling in the water. He isn’t staring at the girls. He’s staring straight at me—eyes hard and suspicious. I nod in his direction, acting oblivious to the look in his eye.

Dalton sees me and says, “Carter!” He rushes around the pool, unsteady on his feet. He’s laughing the whole time, spilling half his beer. When he reaches me, he wraps his arm around me and leans in.

“Don’t worry, I’m not as fucked-up as I look,” he says. “Did you get anything out of Sloan?”

I pull back and eye him. “How did you know I was with Sloan?”

He chuckles. “I didn’t. But good job,” he says, squeezing my shoulder. “You work fast. I think she knows more than we think she does.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think she knows shit,” I tell him. “Focusing on her will be a waste of our time.”

I glance over Dalton’s shoulder and see Asa staring at us. He pulls his feet out of the water and stands up.

“He’s coming over here,” I say.

Dalton raises an eyebrow and then backs away, raising his beer in the air. He grins and spins around. “A hundred bucks says I can stay under water longer than any of you fucks!”

Jon immediately takes him up on the bet. They throw their beers aside and dive into the pool.

Asa walks toward me and then straight past me as he makes his way into the house, never once making eye contact with me.

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