Page 76 of Rumi: The Hawthornes

“Good grief.”

“Just because you’re into Rumi doesn’t mean I have to be friends with his brother.”

“I’m not into Rumi.”

Bird just stared at me, emotionless.

“We’re just friends, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” he said sarcastically, stomping toward his room.

“Wait, are you mad at me?” I called.

“I’m not mad,” he yelled back, going into his room and closing the door between us.

“Sure you’re not,” I mumbled. Jesus, what a day.

I wished I could go back and start the last forty-eight hours over again. How had things gone so crazy in such a short period of time? As I got ready for bed, I couldn’t help but run over everything that had happened.

I’d been obsessing over what would happen with Rumi, but every once in a while, the thing that I didn’t want to think about came flying back to the forefront of my mind.

Pop had almost hit me again.

The first time hadn’t been an anomaly. It hadn’t been in my imagination and I hadn’t somehow inflated it in my mind. Pop had shoved me into the wall and screamed at me, and now he’d almost backhanded me, and I didn’t know what the fuck I was going to do.

He’d nearly swung on me while Nana and Bird were right there. Somehow, that made his outburst even scarier because he hadn’t cared that we’d been outside for anyone to see.

I wished I could talk to Rumi about it, but I never would. I couldn’t imagine what he would say. I worried that he’d lose his mind and storm over to my house to confront Pop. I also worried that he’d look at me like I was crazy because it was so out of character for Pop.

What did it say about me that I was keeping this secret? I really wished that Meg was home from school so I could talk to her about it. Nana was right, shehadbeen one of my best friends. Then she’d gone out of state for school and the calls and texts had gotten more and more sporadic and distracted and eventually I’d just stopped trying to get ahold of her. I wasn’t mad about it, though. I understood that she was out in the world making new friends and shit. It kind of sucked when I needed her, though. She probably would’ve stopped me from hooking up with Rumi like an idiot.

I lay in bed for a long time feeling raw and anxious. It was all too much. I liked my ordered life. I liked knowing what my schedule was and knowing where I’d be and knowing how people would act and going to sleep without any worry beyond waking up for work the next day. How had things gotten so out of control?

Bird came in after a while and curled up on my floor without a word.

“You still mad at me?” I asked, extending my leg and pointing my toe so I could nudge him from the bed.

“I’m not mad at you,” he said roughly, rolling onto his back.

“I’m sorry Titus acted like an asshole.”

“Why,” he snorted. “It’s not your fault.”

“Still.”

He was quiet for a beat. “You really think Pop was going to hit you last night?” he whispered. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who was worrying about it.

The tremor in his voice was like a knife to the heart. He sounded exactly like the toddler that I used to hide in the closet. My throat felt so tight that it was a struggle to get the words out of my mouth to answer him.

“I think he was, yeah,” I replied, my voice as quiet as his.

“What the hell is going on, Nova?”

“I don’t know, bud,” I replied, reaching my hand out.

I kept it there until his hand came out from under his blanket and grasped mine.

“He’s never been like this before.”

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