Page 72 of Rumi: The Hawthornes

“Wasn’t this supposed to be fun, Rum?” she asked, her voice softening. “It’s not fun for me anymore. Alright? I’m not angry. I just think we should go back to being friends. That’s it. Back when things were simple.”

“This fuckin’ sucks,” I roared, pacing away from her.

“It does,” she replied, watching me from her spot beside the truck. “But things will get back to normal eventually.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I croaked out, remorse making my chest tight.

The quieter she spoke, the shittier I felt. No, I hadn’t done anything wrong—but I’d hurt her, and I knew it. It didn’t matter if I’d done it on purpose or not. I’d had sex with Nova, one of my favorite people in the world, and I’d assumed that we could keep it casual and I’d been wrong.

“I know you didn’t, Rum.”

“We can go back to being just friends.”

“Oh, so what I’ve been saying since you dragged me out here?”

I looked at her, all done up for the barbecue, and I wondered how the fuck I’d ever keep my hands to myself. Even as we discussed being just friends, my hands itched to wrap around her hips. I couldn’t stop imagining her on her knees in front of me and bent over the top of my dresser and laying naked in bed while she fell asleep. Now that the dam had broken, I had zero idea how to repair it.

I wasn’t sure that I’d ever be able to look at Nova and not remember how she moaned when I made her come.

“I don’t know how this is going to work,” I said tiredly, walking back toward her.

“We just go back to how it was before,” she said, clearing her throat. “No more sex.”

With a sigh, I pulled her into my arms and rested my cheek on her head. She was trembling, and I swallowed around the lump in my throat.

I felt like shit. I was shit. I’d done this. She was trying so hard to keep her cool and on top of starting this entire fiasco, I’d forced her to argue with me about it instead of leaving her alone to sort her head out. My Nova, who never got emotional about anything, who let every problem slide off her like water off a duck’s back, was trembling and trying to keep her shit together and I’d been the cause.

“Rum?” she murmured against my shoulder.

“What’s up?”

“I think that we should take a little time apart.”

“Say what now?”

“Just—” She let out a sigh. “You know, just until we’re back to how it was before.”

I didn’t want that. Why the hell would I agree to not seeing her? That was the exact opposite of what I wanted. She was my best friend. She was the person I spent the most time with. I talked to her abouteverything.

“Are you sure?” I asked gruffly.

“Just for a while, okay?”

I hated it. I hated it. I hated it. It was the worst idea in the history of ideas. The only thing time apart would do is make us both miserable and wreck what little friendship we had left. I didn’t want to be without her and she was lying to herself if she thought she wanted to be without me. We were two peas in a goddamn pod.

I grit my teeth. Pulled her tighter against me. Hesitated.

And then said, “Okay.”

Chapter 14

Nova

Iwas absolutelymiserable, and I was hiding it like an award-winning actress.

When Rumi and I arrived at the club barbecue, we’d naturally been absorbed into different groups and separated. I’d known it was going to happen, and that’s why I’d been so anxious to get there. Rumi had also known, and I was pretty sure that’s why he hadn’t wanted to.

Micky’s girlfriend, Emilia, was cute. She was a couple years older than me and seemed like a deer in the headlights, but anyone could see that she adored Rumi’s older brother. Her feelings were so damn transparent that I couldn’t help but wonder what people saw when they looked at me.

---