Page 19 of Deviant Desires

She knew the servers by name and chatted with them about their kids; Bambi was a regular. She sipped on a margarita as we talked about our respective lives. She was majoring in Hospitality Management and wanted to be an event planner. I was a businessman that spent my days hardly working. And after dinner was done, she told me to drive out to the lake.

We sat in my car watching the sun set over the water. “This is like a fairytale,” she told me with a girlish giggle, “this is how book dates end, it isn’t how dates in real life end.”

In the glow of the setting sun, I thought she looked like an angel. An angel sent here to save me from my darkest nature and make me a better man.

Bambi smiles as I recount the story of our first date. “I thought we were destined for a happily ever after,” she admits. “But life is so much more complicated than a fairytale. People don’t just ride off into the sunset together. They learn who each other is, they go through good times and bad, and sometimes they have to walk through fire to make their dreams a reality.”

I watch her with careful appreciation. This woman that I’ve loved for the last nine years is so much deeper now. She’s grown in ways that I could never have fathomed.

“We’ve gone through the good times and we’ve struggled through the bad ones. We have never been perfect, Mat, but we’ve always been honest with one another. So it’s time I’m honest with you.” I don’t know why but that makes my Adam’s apple feel three times the normal size.

“I know that I should walk away from you and never look back. My parents are in Wichita and I can move there if I want their support. They’d help me through anything,” she says with a soft sigh. “But despite my better judgment, I want to stay here. I want to give this thing between us another shot. Because even though I feel like there’s a huge part of you that I don’t know, I love the parts I do know. And I want to get to know who you are when you’re not with me.”

Tentatively, in hopes of not scaring her, I open my arms and step forward to wrap her in my embrace. She fits against my body perfectly, like a puzzle piece made for me. “I’m going to be a better boyfriend this time around,” I swear to her. “I promise not to kill anyone anymore.”

Bambi pulls her head away from my chest to look up at me. “Don’t make that promise. When I found out that I was pregnant, it made sense. When I was trying to decide whether or not to tell you, I had to come to terms with all that I’d be willing to do to keep my baby safe from you. My thoughts went to dark places.”

I hold her tighter, begging her not to say the things I know she means. “It’s okay. You don’t have to think like that,” I reassure her.

She wraps her arms around my waist and leans into me. “If you ever have to choose between doing something illegal to protect our family or letting us get hurt if you don’t, promise me that you’ll always do the thing that protects us.”

It’s the green light for every dark and tormented action I might have to take to protect the Valentis. Now that she’s going to be one of us, that means I’m doing these things for her, too. “I promise,” I whisper. “I promise I’ll never, ever let anyone hurt you.” Including myself. I’ll walk across burning coals if it means making sure she doesn’t ever have to find out what I do to keep her and my child safe.

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