Page 85 of Just So You Know, I Don't Work Friday

“Oh, thank God,” she said. “I was going to donate half of the money I got to the church to ask for forgiveness for being a murderer, but I guess I only have to give them twenty bucks now.”

“Oh my gosh, Chelsea,” Polly said, shaking her head. “That’s akin to blasphemy.”

“I don’t think that it’s akin to blasphemy,” Chelsea said, though she did look guilty. “Fine, God. I’ll give fifty bucks. That’s ten percent.”

“God says you should give twenty percent after those lies.”

I stared at her, and she just shook her head.

“God thinks you should give one hundred percent of your salary, because your entire job is based upon a lie.”

“Well, God said that you—”

“Girls,” Polly said, cutting me off. “God is looking at us right now and saying that we need to get out of this kitchen ASAP.”

I stared at her.

“Fine. I’m really making a big mess of this, aren’t I?”

“He must really have a nice cock,” Chelsea said.

“What?” I said, blushing.

“He has to have a good cock, because why else would you be doing all this?”

“For the money? For a place to stay?”

“Mom and Dad’s is not that bad,” she said.

“Yeah,” Polly said. “This seems like way too much stress. Obviously, you’re enjoying the drama of it all.”

“I’m really not.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Open the bags, girls,” I said, and we all got to work opening the bags from Red Lobster.

The biscuits looked and tasted delicious. Chelsea, Polly, and I were hungry, so we split one.

“I wish we could have another one,” Chelsea said, and I shook my head.

“No. I don’t even know if there’s enough for all the guests. If there’s anything left, you can have one later.”

“Do you really think that they’re going to buy you made these?” Polly said.

“Yes,” I said. “I’m counting on it.”

“But anyone that’s been to Red Lobster is going to know,” Chelsea started, and I glared at her. She held her hands up. “Fine. None of these people look like they go to Red Lobster anyway.”

“Exactly,” I said. “I’m just going to say that it’s a family recipe inspired by a family friend who happens to be related to the people that started Red Lobster.”

Polly’s jaw dropped.

“What?”

“I’m just going to say it, just in case one person does think it’s similar to Red Lobster’s. That way, I already got ahead of them.”

“I don’t know, Harriet,” she said. “What if they ask you who the family friend is?”

---