Page 110 of Illicit Education

Didn’t make it hurt any less, though.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Cabot

We stepped into the underground parking, and I aimed the key fob at the Bugatti and hit the button. The alarm beeped as the doors unlocked, echoing in the concrete garage. Striding to the passenger side, I opened the door, then set Rylan onto her feet and waited for her to climb inside.

The way she looked up at me, with so much uncertainty in her big eyes, made my chest tighten further but I wasn’t quite sure what to say. I needed a few minutes to work through my thoughts before I said something regrettable.

Shecouldn’tbe in love with me.

First of all, it was fucking absurd; she’d know me for all of three weeks. We’d barely scratched the surface. We knew nothing about one another, save for what we’d been learning during our nights spent underground, but that wasn’t enough to base a relationship on.

And this was not a relationship.

I didn’tdorelationships.

I closed the door and breathed deeply, trying to calm my racing heart. Each beat of my pulse was thunder in my ears.

Second of all, Rylan falling in love with me felt overwhelmingly fuckingright.

I didn’t know what to do with that feeling.

I started the car and turned on the music to a near-deafening level. It didn’t do the trick; I could still hear my thoughts.

Pulling out of the parking garage, I turned into traffic so quickly Rylan’s hand flew up to the grab handle.

I glanced at her but didn’t slow down. I needed speed.

And distance.

The further I drove away from the Rabbit Hole, the clearer my thoughts would become.

I held onto that hope as strongly as Rylan held onto the grab handle.

At the entrance to the highway, I debated only briefly about which direction to go, then whipped into the turn, heading away from Park Slope. No way in hell was I going to drop this woman off at home.

Not after the excitement of our night—or the chastising she’d just received from Mina.

Or what she’d admitted about her feelings for me.

The expressway was nearly empty this time of night, so I hit the gas pedal and sped toward my grandmother’s place in Whitestone. I’d held onto it after her death for nostalgic reasons and because sometimes I just needed to think without the noise of the city.

I needed that respite now, and though I’d never taken a woman to Whitestone, the fact that Rylan was currently beside me wasn’t the least bit alarming.

She’d admire my place of solitude. She’d respect the safety I found within its walls.

The way she appreciated things was one of the reasons I’d fallen for her.

“Fuck!” I slammed my palm against the steering wheel and looked over at her. “You can’t be in love with me!”

After a moment, she whispered, “You’re scaring me.”

I laughed bitterly. “Oh,you’rescared? That’s rich.” I laughed again. My hands tightened on the steering wheel, knuckles white in the glow of the dashboard. “I’ve never been as fucking scared as the day you walked into my life, Rylan Blake, and I was right. You turned it onto its fucking head, just like I knew you would.”

Shaking my head, I swerved to the right and took the first exit. As soon as I was off the interstate, I pulled over into the dirt and turned toward her.

Rylan shrunk back in her seat and shame heated my blood.

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