Page 96 of Tempt

Liv or Jules would be there for me in a second if I texted.

Daniel’s face flashes in my mind. But it’s one thing to have feelings for him and another to dump unfounded worries at his feet.

He deals with his own problems. I can do the same.

I push through the front doors and head out into the sunshine.

Across the parking lot, there’s a basketball net and three boys playing pickup. It looks like two on one, the smaller one still dribbling circles around the other boys.

On impulse, I dial my brother’s number.

The breeze ruffles my hair and the swaying trees as I walk along the edge of the parking lot.

Clay was always the best at everything. It gave him a focus, a north star he could commit to no matter what.

Ring.

I imagine him answering, saying, “Hey, what’s going on with you? Really going on, I mean. Spill your guts like you used to when we were kids.”

Grad school is a big question mark. One second my professor says I should go for it, and she’ll help, but when I don’t do things exactly how she wants, she’s disappointed in me. How am I supposed to know how to do this.

Liv and Jules moved in with their sig others. We still hang out, but it’s not the same. I miss the shit out of them. Is it weird to miss people who still go to the same school?

Oh, and I’ve been nannying since the start of the school year. I said it was for the money, but I’m not sure that’s the real reason. Especially now that I’m falling for my boss. Who I’m definitely banging.

Maybe you’re right. I still don’t like waking up alone.

Physically, Clay was the strong one.

I vowed to be strong emotionally.

At first it worked. Through the hundreds of tests, the endless prescriptions for IV drugs to help with the pain and the nausea after surgeries, I told myself that it was only a matter of time until I bounced back. That my friends would be waiting for me at school, and nothing would change. That my family was busy but they’d be there as soon as they could.

Ring.

Except keeping my belief was harder the longer it wore on. I wasn’t enough for them. Especially when they had a huge party for Clay’s birthday and never even came by.

Riii—Hi, you’ve reached Clay. I can’t come to the phone right now…

I click off before the voicemail beeps.

The kids on the court score one more basket before I turn and start back toward the doors.

28

DANIEL

Daniel, I can’t present our paper at this conference next week. Any chance you can go?

The email from a colleague stares at me from my computer screen.

“Nice building you’ve got here.” Kat waltzes in the door of my campus office. Her shiny black leggings have my gaze dragging down her body before returning to her laughing face.

I cross to the door and close it, looking both ways down the hall first.

When I turn back, she’s perched on the corner of my desk.

I close the space between us and haul her lips up to meet mine.

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