Page 26 of Tempt

“I said I’d be there.” It’s a question.

“Last month, when we arranged it.”

It’s not in my calendar, even though I vaguely recall confirming.

I can rearrange my schedule.

But when I open my calendar to look at the meetings, it’s not good. I have a tenure meeting with more senior faculty I can’t move.

“It’s okay,” she says, filling the silence. “We always have extra volunteers for this trip. It’s a crowd favorite.”

I wasn’t going for the other kids, I want to say.I was going for my kid.

“Another time,” I promise.

“Of course.”

I click off and set the phone on my desk before shifting back in my chair to stare up at the ceiling.

Andy’s been talking about the museum for weeks, and I forgot.

My wife wouldn’t have done this.

We both had careers, but she would’ve made sure one of us planned ahead to go. Because parenting was important to both of us.

She’s not here to remind me.

Still, the past week has gone better than I could’ve imagined.

Having the extra set of hands is a huge relief.

When Kat went out with friends, it was the first night she wasn’t home since she started.

After dark, Andy in bed, the house was quiet without her.

I rub the ring on my finger.

The photo on the corner of my desk is the three of us.

You’re doing fine, Daniel, she would have said in her laughing voice.

If you’re going to miss your kid’s trip, get some damned work done.

I do.

* * *

It’s after dinner when I finish up and head across campus.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, the committee meeting productive.

I’m practically racing home to open the door.

I’m ready to do penance for screwing up and missing the trip. Whatever it takes to make this up to my kid.

He’ll be sad. Not sulking, but droopy eyed.

Fuck. I hate not only seeing him like that but knowing he’s in pain is worse.

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