Page 21 of Tempt

“So you avoid anyone who might be physically or emotionally attractive to you and, what. Mainline porn?”

I cough, reaching for my collar only to find my tie already missing.

“It’s okay, Daniel. Everyone does it. I bet if I flip open that computer”—she nods to my bag in the corner—“I’m finding a browser history of busty amateurs or voyeuristic lesbians.”

“If I did, I wouldn’t be dumb enough to leave it on there,” I counter.

She folds her arms, smiling as if she’s won a prize I didn’t realize we were competing for.

I slide the sandwich across the bar to her.

“Thanks. I forget to eat way too often.” Her gaze flicks between us. “Aren’t you eating?”

“I grabbed something on campus earlier.”

She tosses me a lopsided smile before taking a bite.

A little sound of pleasure escapes her. “This is really good.”

“I’m still waiting on my Michelin star.”

But the truth is, I enjoy watching her eat.

The world is full of reminders where I’m deficient. I like being enough for another person in this small way.

I grab a second LaCroix from the fridge, reaching for her unused glass and pouring into it before I take a sip.

Not bad.

“So, for real,” she starts once she’s finished one of the triangles of sandwich. “Why don’t you date?”

“I don’t want to miss Andy’s life. I want to give him everything.”

“You’re afraid of failing him.”

Some days, I think I already have.

“When my wife was in hospital, it was hard on him.”

Kat finishes the first half of her sandwich. “How about on you?”

It’s an obvious question, but one I don’t spend any time asking myself.

“I can take it. But Andy’s going to grow up without a mom. No kid should have to do that.”

She straightens, stretching one arm over the back of the barstool.

“Lots of kids grow up without lots of things.”

I fetch a napkin and pass it to her. “What’d you grow up without?”

She wipes the corner of her mouth. “Nothing. I had the perfect childhood.”

“Liar.”

Her eyes widen in surprise. It feels good to catch her off-guard.

She looks away, and that’s when I spot a streak of purple on her throat.

---