Page 56 of Ruler

His anger is as palpable as it’s delicious. I crave the fight.

“Don’t!” I hiss. “Don’t tell me what to do, Gus,” I seethe, clutching Liam’s shirt tighter.

“Let her go,” Kai says from behind me.

Gus chuckles darkly while shaking his head. “Fight me then,” he challenges. My eyes widen and I physically flinch at the menace in his words and blue eyes. “What’s the matter, Cia? I know you didn’t think I’d let you go without a fight. So, get ready.” His blue eyes are frosty as he cracks his knuckles.

I tilt my head and look up at him from beneath my lashes. “I know what you’re trying to do,” I hiss in outrage. “And it won’t work. You can’t distract me.”

Throwing his head back, Gus lets out a booming laugh. The insincerity hurts my ears like nails on a chalkboard. “I’m not doing a fucking thing, Cia. But you are. You’re acting like a fucking ungrateful brat. Liam took a knife to the gut for you, and this is how you repay him? By going off by yourself?”

“That’s enough!” Kai thunders, moving closer to me.

“Is it?” Gus asks. “How can it be enough when she’s hellbent on acting so fucking unreasonable?”

His words stir my anger, and I feel it surge through my veins like poison. “I’m unreasonable?” I scream. I let go of the clothes I’m holding and throw my hands up in the air in pure exasperation and rage. “You think I’m being unreasonable? Guess what, that’s what happens when you lose all reason and have nothing to believe in, Augustus. I’ve lost our baby, Abel, and I almost… I almost… Liam.”

My voice cracks several times, and the lump in my throat makes it hard to talk. I swallow harshly, determined to keep going.

“So what the fuck gives you the right to lecture me? Don’t you see that I’m running out of people to lose. I can’t keep just overlooking shit and—”

Gus isn’t having it, though. Looking me dead in the eyes, he interrupts me with a growl. “So fucking what? Why do you think that gives you a pass to act however you like? Those things happened to me as well, yet you don’t fucking see me throwing everything away. Liam deserves better.”

I know he’s right, but my anger and pain are holding me hostage, demanding I don’t back down. Rather than listening, I lunge for Gus, but as soon as I’m within arm’s reach, he quickly shoots his hand out and wraps it around my throat. Before I can react, he slams my back up against the door.

“Don’t do this, Cia. Fight it. Do you hear me?” he implores. “Fucking fight it with everything you have. We’ve already lost if you give in to your despair.”

Tears well in my eyes, and I sniff as they fall from my eyes and down my cheeks. I watch Gus through my blurry vision, and it hurts me to see my proud and magnificent man like this. As I keep staring at him, I feel the fight leave my body, giving way to the sadness and sense of hopelessness I really don’t want to feel.

“That’s it,” Gus croons. “Let it all fucking out so it doesn’t poison you.”

Then he bends and captures my lips. Each swipe from his tongue grounds me, and before long, I’m panting into his mouth. The desire he stirs is so potent I can practically feel it spreading with every heartbeat.

He doesn’t pull back and lets go of my throat until I’m sagging against the door. “That’s better,” he mutters. “Now, march your pretty ass into the shower while we wait here.”

I bend down and gather the clothes I threw, then I walk into the bathroom and quietly close the door behind me. Undressing in front of the mirror, I can’t stop looking at myself—at what I’ve become. With a wail, I pull at my hair and don’t let go until the first extension slides free. It helps that the microbeads are due to be redone soon, so they’re not as tight as they could be, making it possible for me to pull most of them out.

My hair still bears evidence of the hack job done to my hair at the auction, but at least it’s all mine. No more pretending, I’m done.

As I wash my hair, I make a mental note to put hair color remover on the list of things to get. I want the stupid white hair back. Not because it looks good, but because it’s how I was left. There’s strength in embracing what I’ve been through, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

I try hard not to pay attention to the blood seeping from my core and down my legs. But maybe I should find a way to embrace it instead. Gods, it’s seriously messed up that this is even my life.

“Get it together,” I hiss at myself.

Later, when everything is done, I’ll sleep for weeks and eat so much chocolate it becomes my main food group. But for now, I don’t have that luxury. I need to finish up so Gus and Kai can shower before we go see Liam.

“Liam!” I squeal as soon as Kai opens the door to the room they’re keeping my consort in.

It reminds me of the luxury suite at the hospital after I stupidly went into the ocean to save Kai. But I don’t pay attention to the decor, I’m too busy running to his bed.

“Liam.” This time it comes out as a barely controlled sob. “How are you feeling? Did they treat you okay? Can you—”

He lifts his hand to cup my face. “Agápi,” he slurs as a goofy grin spreads across his face. “Love…” Pausing, he blinks a few times, but his eyes keep their dream-like quality. “…You.”

“Oh, Liam.” As I nuzzle into his hand, I let my tears fall again.

My mighty warrior looks so carefree. His hair is in disarray, and he can’t stop smiling. But the machines beeping, and the cannula in his hand make me cringe. I force myself not to say anything, how can I when he looks so happy.

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