Page 23 of There is No Devil

Mara is drawn to the figure next to him. A man with hair and eyes as dark as my father’s, but a much more youthful face.

“Is that …” Mara squints through the spiderweb of glass. “Do you have a brother?”

“That’s my uncle. He was twelve years younger than my father. Almost as close to me in age.”

Mara turns, understanding that this photograph is the reason I brought her in here.

“He looks just like you.”

“That’s not the only thing we had in common.”

She crosses the detritus blanketing the floor, her boots crunching on splinters of wood and glass. Sinking down onto the slashed sofa, she says, “Tell me everything.”

I sit next to her, my weight causing her to slide closer until her thigh rests against mine.

“My uncle Ruben was the only person my father ever loved. My grandparents had him accidentally, late in life. He was wild and unruly, and they didn’t know what to do with him. My father was the only person he would listen to, at least some of the time.”

Mara sits up straight, hands clasped in front of her, eyes fixed on my face, like a child enthralled by a fairy tale.

“My family’s money came from hotels and breweries, but by the time Ruben came along, most of it had been parceled out or frittered away, so the Blackwells were no longer truly rich. Meaning, my grandparents still lived well, but there was only a modest trust fund waiting for their sons. My father used his to start his venture capital firm. He offered Ruben a job, but Ruben didn’t want it. He waited till he turned twenty-one, got his money, then fucked off to LA to spend it. Around that same time, my father married my mother.”

Mara interrupts, “How did they meet?”

“Have you ever readThe Great Gatsby?”

Mara nods.

“It was like that. She wasfrom a level of wealth that made the Blackwells look poor. My father wanted her from the moment he laid eyes on her. She was very beautiful, but innocent and sheltered. Her parents had full control over her. My father had to impress them first to get access to her. When his company went public, he donated six million to the Bay Area Youth Center, her mother’s foundation. That’s how he got an invitation to one of their dinner parties, so he could start the process of seducing their daughter.”

“Do you have a picture of her?” Mara asks.

“Upstairs. There’s none in here.”

I can’t hide the bitterness in my voice. Mara presses her lips together, understanding.

“My father wanted anything he couldn’t have. I guess that’s the one thing we shared. He had a chip on his shoulder and wanted to prove himself to anyone who’d ever looked down on him. But he was petty and vindictive. He didn’t just want acceptance—he wanted to rub their noses in it. That extended to my mother. He had to have her, but once they were married, he treated her like she had been the enemy all along. Like she was the one keeping him out of the Pacific Union Club.”

“She told you this?” Mara asks, brows drawn together in sympathy.

“I read it in her journal. She was confused how the man who wined and dined and complimented her could turn into a completely different person the moment they were alone in his house.”

I close my eyes, quoting from memory the words she wrote out in her delicate script:

“It’s like he hates me, and I don’t know why. I don’t know what I’ve done. He used to kiss my fingertips and tell me I was the most exquisite thing in the world. Now he snarls if I even touch him …”

”Why did he change?” Mara asks.

“He never liked anything once he actually had it. It took him years to get this house—he had to bully and threaten the old woman who owned it. Had to fight with the zoning commissioner and the society that was trying to get it named a historic landmark. Once he moved in, he never stopped complaining that it was cold and drafty, and the wiring was ancient.”

“You’re not like that,” Mara says.

“No. To me, something has value if it’s rare.”

“I value things if they make me happy,” Mara says.

“But why do they make you happy?”

Mara considers. “Because they’re beautiful or interesting. Because they make me feel good.”

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