Page 20 of There is No Devil

“Oh, well in that case, we better not. I don’t want to break any laws.”

Mara snorts, but remains stubbornly seated on the passenger side.

“What if I scratch it? What if I run into a tree? This car probably costs a hundred grand!”

“A hundred and sixty, actually. It’s the performance model.”

Her face blanches, eyes widening.

“No fucking way!”

I reach across her to open the door, unbuckling her seatbelt and shoving her out.

“We’re not negotiating. You need to learn to drive.”

“What if I crash it?”

“Then I’ll buy another one. It’s a hunk of metal, I really don’t give a shit.”

I’m climbing out myself, trading positions with her. We cross paths in front of the headlights, Mara warily eyeing the car as if it’s an animal, crouched and ready to swallow her whole.

“Doesn’t it drive itself?” she asks, slipping behind the wheel.

“You’re gonna do it. Now sit down and buckle up.”

Once we’re both seated, I walk her through the controls, showing her the paddle shifters, the turn signal, the accelerator, and the brake.

Understanding that I’m not going to drop it, there’s no getting out of it, Mara pays attention. She remembers everything I tell her, and asks questions when she doesn’t understand.

“The regenerative brakes will kick in automatically once you lift your foot off the accelerator,” I tell her. “So you won’t even need the brake pedal most of the time.”

“Alright,” Mara sighs. “Let’s get this over with.”

She puts the car in drive, then slowly presses down on the accelerator. The Tesla leaps forward. Mara shrieks, slamming on the brake. We’re both thrown against our seatbelts, faces inches from the dash.

Keeping my voice low and calm so I don’t stress her out worse than she already is, I say, “Take it easy. Light on the accelerator and ease off if you want to stop or slow down.”

“I barely touched it! This thing’s a fucking rocket-powered go-kart.”

“Yeah,” I laugh, “that’s why it’s fun. Now try it again.”

This time, she presses her foot down gingerly. The car surges forward, still jerky at first, but smoothing out as Mara gets the feel of it.

“You don’t need to hug the line like that,” I tell her. “Stay in the middle of your lane.”

“I’m scared I’m gonna hit something on your side.”

“You won’t.”

I tell her where to go, pointing out stop signs she might miss, reminding her to use her turn signal. Mara’s awkward and jumpy to begin with, but she’s getting the hang of it.

I enjoy telling her what to do, correcting her, encouraging her. She has to obey me or risk running someone over.

When I think she can handle it, I turn on the music.

6 Underground – Sneaker Pimps

Spotify → geni.us/no-devil-spotify

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