Page 84 of Payne's Envy

I found a young adult version of me sitting on nothing. Since we were in blackness, I appeared to be floating. I was older, wearing a cloak that fully covered me, and I had weapons strapped on my back. So,I was a Reaper.

The cloak moved. Was he shaking? Then I heard the muffled, pitiful sounds coming from him. Peace settled deep in me. I didn’t know why, but I let my shoulders droop as I took in the sad state I was in. I was no longer afraid because I couldn’t be.

I’d been so upset and torn about Joy and whatever that moment was for so long… I didn’t want to be that way anymore.

Whatever I did, I already told myself I could forgive.

I would never intentionally hurt Joy because I loved her so, so much.

The last piece of me… The years spent in solitude and what led to it. I needed to understand. I needed the truth to move on with my life.

He stopped crying but didn’t turn around. “You let the memory go because you couldn’t handle it.”

Young adult me changed into Deathraka before my very eyes. I stepped back because he was huge. When he spun around, he blew flames out of his nostrils as he lowered his face and looked into my eyes. “Are you sure you want to remember? What makes you think you’re worthy now?”

I laughed at the absurdity of it all.I’m really something.It wasn’t enough that I let everyone else keep me from Joy for so long. I went and bullied myself while my body was changing. Stole my own fucking memories, but it was okay. I needed a good ass kicking, even if it was my doing.

“Because I am Payne Jones. I’m Joy Reaper’s mate. No one will dare keep me from her ever again.”

There was no gradual change. One second, he was a dragon. In the next, I stared into my eyes and I rememberedeverything….

Including that day I made her like me.

Chapter Forty

Payne

The Day I Made Her Like Me

“What are you doing?”

I jerked too quickly when my mom spoke. The sword in my grip swung as I turned, knocking down the ones mounted on the wall. The blades clattered to the floor, and the ringing filled my senses. I grabbed my ears and winced. Sweat clung to my forehead as I hurried to pick them up.

Mom’s laughter died out. “Hey, are you all right? I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s just loud,” I said.

I could hear her breathing. The thump of her heart.

The sounds were disconcerting and unusual. They were completely new to me.

There was another thing.

The heat spiraled out, wanting to consume me. My skin didn’t feel like mine. I felt itchy and raw. There was something changing inside me. To make matters worse, it amplified what I already felt for Joy. I always thought of Joy. There wasn’t a day I didn’t. But for that week, my thoughts were twisted and filled with touching, caressing, possessing, fuckingclaimingher body.

Maybe it was because she was no longer a child. I didn’t have to wait.

Tonight is the night. I could finally tell her how I felt.

“You’re sweating.” My shoulder tingled as Mom spoke. Iknew, somehow, that she was about to touch me and pulled away.

“I’m fine.”

“That nervous about taking Joy to her senior prom?”

“I don’t understand Joy’s fascination with humans,” I murmured. “I don’t like her going tohighschool.”

I was glad it was almost over.

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