Page 51 of Payne's Envy

“I know my mistakes, love. If I’d told everyone, what could we have done? The fact that Payne was a danger to our daughter never changed and the things he did… Payne needed space from Joy, even if I went about it the wrong way.”

The imaginary knife wedged in my heart deepened. I was so confused, mad, and hurt, but… I glimpsed at Deathraka as he stared at me. His smoky maleness wanted to pull me under. The heat wanted babies.

Everything I ever wanted was what Deathraka offered, but I wanted it with Payne. Not the dragon. And that terrified me more than anything. How could I touch him when he wasn’t the same man I remembered? I held Payne in my heart for so long that my desire seemed like I betrayed him.

How could I know it was what he wanted? Deathraka looked at me with lust-filled eyes, while Payne could hardly make eye contact with me most days. How could I accept Deathraka knowing that? Thinking of Payne being gone killed me. His remembering and realizing we were mates frightened me, too.

How was I supposed to feel? The helplessness of mine and Payne’s situation kept the anger at the surface. I made my hands into fists and took deep breaths.

Deathraka stepped forward. “I am not Payne, but I agree I should be the one to keep her safe.”

“I’m not—”

“I must make amends,” Dad cut me off as he stepped in front of me. His lips were downturned, and his eyes were dull, lacking their usual happiness. “If there’s a chance he’ll remember, it’s by your side, child.”

“Don’t call me a child,” I muttered.

He exhaled, letting his shoulder droop. “No. You’re no longer a child. None of you are, but a parent never stops seeing you as such. Be upset with me, but don’t pull away from Payne. I believe I’m partially responsible for his amnesia. Everything that boy has done all these decades was for you. You were his reason for everything.”

You were his reason for everything.

It was like a ball had lodged in my throat. Again, someone said something I found impossible to believe but wanted to be the truth.

“Do you smell that?” Deathraka tensed, crouching.

“Smell what?” Mom asked.

Dad looked beyond Deathraka, toward the open door. “I think the first attack has begun.”

“Joy…” Deathraka growled my name.

I shivered as my nipples pebbled.

He swept his hand in a downward motion. “You are most vulnerable in your present state.”

I materialized my blade. “I’m immortal.” Green scales appeared on my hand, and I scowled. “Don’t you dare change me, dragon!”

Deathraka’s body began to grow and change shape. No nasty bones snapping and changing. It was so smooth, like magic, and I was envious because mine hurt. I fell over as my back cracked.

“Don’t change in the castle!” Mom shouted.

“Blame him!” I growled.

“I dislike this smell, mate.” Since Deathraka was in his dragon form, I was the only one that heard him. “I must get rid of the threat.”

I screamed as my bones continued to snap and stretch like someone was pulling at them like taffy. The floor shook as Deathraka’s footfalls came close. I barely felt his muzzle against my head because of the agony ripping through my limbs. “I do not understand why you struggle during your change.”

“Why is Joy in such pain?” Mom asked, voice raising as she gripped her hands. “Payne’s transformation didn’t look like that.”

Deathraka roared. The family pictures on the wall rattled. “I wish to take your pain.”

“It could be because she’s not a true Deathraka. Payne made her into one,” Melinda said.

“Made into one?”Deathraka asked.“What does she mean?”

My arms were the last to change. When the pain finally stopped, I lay on my back, wheezing. Twisting around, I wobbled on my legs and feet.I’m never going to get used to this long, spindly body.At least my head no longer felt like someone ripped it to shreds.

Mom gasped. “Oh, Joy, you’re such a beautiful snake.”