Page 4 of Payne's Envy

She hummed. “I said I’ll try. Not that I can.”

“I don’t have all day.”

“Aye,” she murmured. “I know you’re a Reaper. Could sense you before you even appeared at my door.” Her lips curled lightly as she held out her hand. “But even as busy as you, you seek answers. Why are you so desperate?”

The insistent noises outside buzzed in my ears. The bugs, the frogs, the flow of the water as the wind blew across it—I heard it all as if I were right there standing by the insects. But nothing bothered me as much as her question.Desperate.No word existed to explain how I felt. If I didn’t get an answer soon about what I was, I’d die. Because I couldn’t do it anymore, especially not then.Not when it’s happening again.The changes inside me. The fire beneath my skin, begging to be set free.

When I didn’t reply, she huffed. “Come, boy. Let me have your hand.”

Walking hunched over, I stopped in front of the bench and kneeled. When her clammy hand grabbed mine, I fought the urge to tear my hand away.

“Oh, I see you’re not a boy. You’re older than me. But you’re…” Her brows furrowed as she closed her eyes. “You are in an adolescent stage, but you’re not supposed to be because someone froze you in this state.”

“What do you mean?” Everything she said I’d heard before, but I still hoped for a better answer.

“I’m not sure. It’s almost like you’ve voluntarily stayed as you are. Waiting.”

The ringing in my ear intensified. “Waiting for what?”

“I don’t know...”

I huffed. “So, you know nothing?”

Her eyes snapped open. “You’re… changing, aren’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You feel different? Not like yourself.”

Sweat trickled down my forehead. “What am I?”

“I don’t know, but I think you do.”

“I told you—”

“Surely, you’ve had some clue. A hunger, a taste, an emotion…”

A hunger?

I laughed. The dry sound cut through the silence. In my head, the sound of my own laugh was erased by hers. A softer, feminine delight of chuckles that wrapped around my heart. The sound changed over the years, becoming richer or sadder, depending on what happened around her. I closed my eyes and let the idea of her carry me into my thoughts. The place I got to keep her close. I pictured her long blonde hair and the way it tumbled off her slight shoulders. Every time Joy stood in front of me, with that beautiful pout begging to be seen, I had no choice but to pull away. When the tears seeped out of those indigo orbs, my soul wept too. For every time I pushed her away, was another more thousand wishes to hold her close.

If I got too close, I could hurt her all over again.

So, yes, I knew hunger. A longing that stole the breath from my lungs every night. But it would only become worse if I didn’t stop the fire within. How could I contain a heat that I was unaware of?

“The only way to learn who you are is to let it happen,” the witch said.

I yanked my hand away and stood. “You ask the impossible.”

“Why are you so desperate?” she asked again. “What are you afraid of?”

My mind drifted…

To the memory of my bloody hands, the torn apart limbs, and the uncontrollable rage that had come when Joy had given herself to a male.

Most of all, I remembered the kiss on her lips when I had tried claiming her for myself and how it had ended in flames.

Chapter Two

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