Page 86 of Payne's Envy

The intensity of my desire wasn’t dissipating despite my inner turmoil. I smelled her. Her scent was so good. Always so clean. Like rain. I wanted to drown myself in her.

“Payne…”

My name was a question on her lips that time. I met her bright-blue stare and allowed myself to get lost in her beauty. I whispered, “You look so beautiful.”

Grim made a sound in his throat and I tensed, but only because I didn’t have a grip on my body. I didn’t understand why I struggled so hard with my desire. Controlling myself was something I never wrestled with. I had no desire to rush with Joy. So why was I losing control of myself?

“Have fun, you two.”

I sighed and took Joy’s hand as soon as Grim faded, allowing us privacy. The simple touch was like a straight shot of ecstasy through my bloodstream. “Ready?”

“You’re taking me somewhere before we go to the dance?”

“I am.” I turned her around as we walked. She didn’t need to see the erection. I refused to allow lust to control me. As I thought that, the heat spiraling in my stomach grew. Our fingers intertwined. I never allowed myself the pleasure of holding her hand before. I’d carried and tended to Joy many times over the years, but never like we were almost lovers.

I felt my senses getting overloaded. I was so happy I shook. Maybe that was why my desire was building, molding into a sensation I couldn’t control. I could let myself think of her in that way. Once I let those wicked thoughts of having her creep in, my body shook worse. I tightened my grip on her hand and walked out of the castle with her.

“Your hand is really warm,” Joy said. “Like really warm.” I went to untwine our fingers, and she pulled them to her stomach. “Don’t you dare.”

I felt slightly embarrassed, and my palms were sweaty as I smiled.If I could tell how badly I perspired she could. “I’m sorry I’m sweaty.”

“Yours?” Her blue eyes seemed to sparkle as they widened. “I thought it was mine.”

At her laugh, my heart rammed against my ribcage, and it was as if a kaleidoscope of bliss erupted in my stomach.

“I’m nervous,” she whispered.

“You’ve seen me every day of your life,” I began, only for her to cut me off.

“Not like this.” She squeezed my fingers.

I squeezed back. “Not like this.”

I met her gaze, saw the blush rising on her cheeks again, but she didn’t turn away. She held my attention—always did. Her steadfast pursuit was something I adored about her. She always revealed her feelings to me time and time again. I kept mine hidden despite how close we were.

“Does this mean it’s different now?” she asked. “We’re different?”

“We are as we were always meant to be.”

She crinkled her nose cutely. “Does that mean no…”

I led her into Grim’s woods with my heart on my sleeves for the first time. “Come.”

“This will ruin my dress,” she pulled at me to stop. When I did, she grabbed the back of her dress, rolled it into a ball, and held her arms out. “Carry me.”

“You are so spoiled.”

“You’ve carried me before.”

“I know. Many times. Which is why you’re spoiled. Every time you got hurt, no matter how small, I carried you to your mother. Which was ridiculous because you’d heal before I got you to her. All those wasted trips were pointless. We both know it.”

“It wasn’t pointless. I got to be close to you.”

My heart raced, and she wiggled her arms again.

I was madly in love with that immortal and would do anything for her. I still couldn’t resist teasing her and held off on scooping her up. “One would say I’m more delicate than you are. I’m not immortal.”

She looked me up and down before we burst into laughter. There was nothing delicate about me.

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