Page 22 of Payne's Envy

Tomorrow.

That night I wanted to see Joy once more because as soon as I told her dad, he’d pull me out of the castle. Away from her.

Anger rippled up and down my spine. How could I protect her then? I took a deep breath. I’d found ways to look Joy’s way without her ever noticing. It would be simple to keep her safe from a distance if I could manage my emotions, which led me right back to her dad.

If I might lose all sense of reason, someone needed to know.

______

As I entered the room, the scent mixed with Joy’s belonged to the proxy.I flexed my fingers when my nails ached. It was almost like I expected something to happen. The continuous instinct to claw and rip things apart clouded my mind, especially as I took in Derrick’s face. Joy sat on a stool at the kitchen island while Derrick stood beside her.

“You don’t need to stay,” Joy murmured as I drew closer. “I don’t need you babysitting me while I’m at the castle.”

“BecausePayne’shere?” I didn’t like the tease in Derrick’s tone or how quickly he met my gaze. “Ah, speak of the Devil…”

The aroma of Joy’s arousal spilled through the air, crashing over me in waves. Hers, mine—it didn’t matter. Our needs begged us to pay attention to each other.

My teeth and gums felt sensitive andstrange. Adrenaline crashed into me and for several seconds, all I could hear was my heart beat in my ear. Derrick was far too close to Joy. “You’re still here? Why?”

“Seems like neither of you want me here,” Derrick said, sliding a glass of water toward Joy on the counter. “I thought we had grown closer.” Derrick cracked his knuckles and glanced up. He stood. “Maybe I’ve overstayed my welcome. I’ll be at your beck and call as soon as trouble arrives.”

He ported quickly, but my anger didn’t dissipate. I glimpsed toward the ceiling and frowned.Grim. He was on the second floor, exactly where the proxy had been looking, but why?

The click of a glass had me turning toward Joy. She stood from the stool and moved to the sink. Her back stiffened as I approached her side. I paused, watching her wash the glass, not once giving me her focus. Shealwaysgave me her focus.

It was like she took those long, elegant fingers and squeezed my heart the longer she didn’t acknowledge my presence. “Joy.”

Placing the cup down, she turned away from me, causing her long blonde hair to slap my face, then walked around the kitchen bar to avoid me.

I followed her out of the kitchen. “Joy.”

She stopped. “What are you doing?”

I didn’t enjoy talking to her back, but I didn’t dare touch her either. My restraint was on thin ice. “I wanted to check on you.”

That made her swivel around. “Because of what we did? Because you left?”

“No, Joy, because you’re…”My key priority. “I’m sorry that I touched you—”

“You didn’t, though. You kept the cloak between us.”

I did. Joy had been asleep when I made physical contact with her. My throat felt as if I had swallowed nails.I’m fucking awful.I could have set her to flames…

“I shouldn’t have. It’s dangerous, and I gave into your smell—”

She snorted before it morphed into a whimper. “Could you embarrass me anymore? God. Like I need reminding that you only gave into me. How badly you must pity me?”

Wait!

My heart hammered as I took in how emotional and distraught she was. She was getting something mixed up, and the fear building within my chest actually overwhelmed the heat. I didn’t like the hurt wafting off her.

“I don’t pity you. You’re misunderstanding something.”

“My brothers used to scold me about you,” she whispered as she hugged her middle. “They told me to give up on you. Plenty of times they said I was the reason you left Grim’s woods all those years ago, because I annoyed you so much. I didn’t believe them, or maybe refused to, until you said it yourself.”

My throat tightened.Me and my fucking mouth.Everything I said, she misinterpreted. No… She saw it exactly as I made her believe all that time. She didn’t remember the coma or anything about the anger I provoked in Grim that day. I left because I had no choice. Grim would exile me, regardless of who my parents were, if I proved dangerous to one of his daughters. If I had given Joy a smidgen of affection, he would have kept her from me completely. Grim was a benevolent person, but I was a danger even he knew nothing of. If I hadn’t left, Grim wouldn’t have taken the gift of being a Reaper from me.Then fucking what?I wouldn’t have had access to his home. I wouldn’t have a reason to see Joy at all. I’d rather die.

So, maybe she played a part in my leaving, but not the one she assumed.

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