Page 19 of Payne's Envy

“If hurting me hurts you, then stop!” I shouted. “Do you have any feelings for me? Does your heart ever crash to the ground when you’ve gone too long without seeing me?”

“You don’t understand.”

My heart broke. Truly broke, because within that God-awful need for him, I saw the truth. He didn’t feel what I did. Never had, or he couldn’t run for so long. Couldn’t deny me so easily if he loved me like I loved him.

Tears spilled like a waterfall. Hurt and fury seemed to become one within me. My insides ached like I’d suffered a hundred stab wounds. “I’m tired. For so long, I thought I’d never grow exhausted with myself. That I could run after you forever, no matter what, but you’re never going to see me.”

“Joy…”

I jerked away from him. “I’ve embarrassed myself enough! No more. My skin, bones, and very essence feel like it might die without you, but I also realized I’m only this way because of myself. I never stopped my infatuation. I let it annoy you—”

“Joy!”

“I let myself become this…” I gestured to myself. “Helpless woman who thinks she’s going to die without your touch. That’s just not true. I’ll be okay. I can help myself.”

Payne’s neck made a cracking sound when he cocked his head quickly, causing me to flinch. “Help yourself do what?” His voice had dropped an octave.

“I’m horny. What do you think I’m talking about?”

Steam blew from his nose as the muscles along his neck jumped again. “I’m well aware of your arousal, Joy. It’s been choking me out for days.” He stood straighter. “Turn around.”

“What?”

Instead of repeating himself, Payne stalked forward and spun me around. My back smashed into his chest, and his cock pressed against my ass. Delight had me shaking head-to-toe as I thrust my ass against him. He leaned down, breath tickling my ear and blowing across my blonde strands. “If you dematerialize our cloaks or clothes, I stop? Do you understand?”

I shuddered. A part of me wanted to rebel. We were meant to be together. So twisted around each other we didn’t know where one began and the other ended. But my rational side knew better. Payne had never given me a glimpse in decades and suddenly, he touched me. I didn’t want to ruin it, so I nodded.

He wedged his leg between mine to spread them apart. One hand slid across my stomach, up my cloak, and grabbed a breast through the material. His groan against my ear was pure ecstasy. His other limb slipped between my thighs and even with the cloak separating us, my body still jolted when he found my clit. “You don’t know how bad I need this,” he whispered as he rocked his dick against my ass.

“Need… Me?” I panted and squirmed against his fingers. All that pent-up heat traveled downward, swirling and igniting under his caress. I wanted to shatter, fall apart for him, but I also wanted his skin against mine.

“Need you so much.” His voice danced along my ear, sweetening the ecstasy bursting inside me.

As he fondled my aching breasts, I reached out for his hand.

“No skin,” he warned.

My arm fell to my side. “You’re cruel,” I whimpered as my orgasm neared.

“No, you’re cruel,” he murmured as he guided me forward until he had me pinned against the wall. My palms slapped across the surface as I whimpered. His thrusts against my backside were clumsy and frantic, like his breath across my neck. “You make me the bad guy when I’ve never—not once--wanted to hurt you. Hades, I feel like I’m bleeding out every time…”

“Every time?” I gasped as his fingers rubbed my clit, over and over, to match each thrust. Nothing we did was pretty. Every breath, jerk, wiggle was crazed as Payne dry humped me. We sought one thing.

“I walk away.” His voice sounded muffled as he pressed his forehead against my shoulder. “I need you to come, Joy.” He rubbed around and around, pumping his hips against me as if he was really fucking me. “Right. Now.”

I listened. Stars danced behind my eyelids. Ecstasy played games with my heart as it slipped my body into a crescendo. My pussy tightened repeatedly as the man behind me growled and bucked his release before pinning me with all his weight.

“Mm,” I hummed. There was a slight relief, but I needed more.

Payne cupped me between my legs. “This was a bad idea.”

“Payne?”

“You smell good. So good,” he went on. “Fuck. And you wonder why I had to leave these woods.”

It was like he dumped a bucket of ice-cold water over me as the heat of him left my back. My heart hammered painfully. I didn’t push myself off the wall, ask him to wait, to stay. Nor did I turn around when I felt his presence leave the room.

After all those years, all his walking away, I didn’t know why that hurt the most. But all I could hear were my siblings over the years.

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