Page 2 of Heartbeat Girl

Dustin’s mom let me live with them after my uncle fled. Between work, college, and the stress from the debt collectors, I grew apart from Dustin and he grew into someone else. Instead of asking me to move out, he left the job to his mom, who was so disgustingly sweet about it I wanted to cry from humiliation.

She’d ask about the court dates and how I was doing daily. Easing me into it slowly, she said, “Have you thought about moving out on your own?”

She never saidwe.

“There’s this cheap apartment out by Smith’s lake.”

I’d always smile and go on with my day, too tired to notice Dustin stopped asking for intimacy and turned away from me in the bed each night. He still talked to me, still cared for me, so their telltale signs were worse than my uncle’s.

Dustin’s mother finally asked me to leave one evening. He ignored me when I tried to get an answer from him about what happened.What did I do wrong?I didn’t understand how someone could be so weak. Instead of manning up and telling me he didn’t love me anymore, he ignored me. After a while, their care turned to pity, then annoyance, because they were too afraid to ask me to leave. They let their kindness become something hurtful and deceptive.

After that came Dean, my cheating ex. When he became doting near the end of our relationship, I became suspicious. Dean stopped being nice a long time ago, but I never gave up on people. They gave up on me. Bringing me flowers and being sweet was unusual. It didn’t take long to figure out why. He cheated, and I found out. I still didn’t know if it was guilt or something else. I left him and never looked back.

Embarrassment consumed me after that. I became a victim again. Looking back, I saw my mistake. Suspecting his niceness meant I was in a terrible relationship.

Ah, the signs. I was familiar with them. They were all different, but had similarities. Butthisone was going to sting most of all. I didn’t want that goodbye. Not when I finally lived again. Not when I felt valuable.I loved my job and admired the woman I called my boss and friend.

From a stuttering new PA who could barely speak to her beautiful rapper employer to the capable worker I was now. It was thanks to Ruth. Like me, she was alone despite the millions of fans she had. I didn’t truly connect with Ruth until Dean left my life, but after that, we clicked. I swore to God the woman was my sister from another mother. But there were things she didn’t tell me, and things I didn’t tell her—like my uncle and my debt.

I feared it was too late to tell our secrets.

“Ma doesn’t like Moose, does she?” Ruth asked as her makeup artist applied her eyeshadow. Moose was her Pitbull. A giant, playful handful that loved belly rubs.

“She doesn’t hate him, but I wouldn’t say she loved him either.”

Ruth sighed. “You love him, right?”

“When he’s not farting,” I said, and she chuckled.

“Good.” There the sign was again. She kept asking the same odd questions about Moose. Why did she care if we liked her dog? He was hers.

Screaming and cheering echoed through the dressing room. We were a good distance from the stage, but the ruckus vibrated the walls. I shivered as I imagined performing for an audience like Ruth was about to do. There was no way. I couldn’t see how anyone could butRuth. The woman was born to sing. Born to perform. Her beauty and voice left me starstruck.

“You ready, DarkGoddess?” I asked. SoulGoddess was Ruth’s stage name, but after a few unexplained deaths during Ruth’s tours, some angry people started calling her the DarkGoddess. To hide her feelings, she flipped the words back at them and named an album after her tainted image. Beyond her famous smile, I knew Ruth was gentle and easily hurt.

Amit, the former president of Black Hearts records.

The bastard did a number on her and disappeared. I’d wish him dead if it wouldn’t break Ruth’s heart even more. She hadn’t been the same since his disappearance, but I was beginning to think the man was dead.

“Always.” Ruth winked.

A long, drawn out whistle caught my ear, and I turned toward the sound.

“You look beautiful, as always.”

Liam.

My mouth parted as I took in his sandy-brown hair and vibrant blue eyes. Tattoos covered him from the neck down. Diamond studs in each ear and a ring hung from his septum. My heart pounded so strongly it made my chest tight, and I tore my gaze away from him. I hated the awkward nervousness, and he brought it out tenfold.

Striding over to Ruth with his usual bad boy swagger, he didn’t glance my way.Good.The tension in my shoulders drained. Some days, Liam left me alone and never said a single word to me or looked my way. I liked those days.

“Hello, Jayne.”

Oh, no.

“Jayne, Jayne, Jayne.”

Double oh, no.

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