Page 67 of Virgin Lust

When I didn’t, he murmured, “I carry your essence.”

Yes, because you’re mine, Soul Reaper.

Shepherd watched me closely.

It wasmypower and lifeline he was connected to. He was my soulmate, and my pink essence spread rapidly, so much that my head spun. My heart and body ached with the need to tell him. His acceptance of my world brought tears to my eyes.

A bucket of ice fell over me when I remembered the death date. Shepherd beamed at me, so happy and hopeful. Suddenly, I couldn’t bear to look at him. It hurt to know I was about to wipe the smile off of his face.

“There’s something else. You say you’re a Reaper.” I closed my eyes and squeezed his hand. “I need you to look at your sister’s lifeline.”

“What? Why?”

I didn’t dare open my eyes until his hand squeezed mine. His smile waned as he paled. “I think I know where you’re going with this. Grim might have said something too.”

“Sire.” Sensing Shepherd’s mood, Wallis hugged one of the man’s legs.

“How long?” Shepherd asked.

“Eight hours.” His shoulders slumped. “You should go to Tiffany. Spend time with her. She’s going to a place you can never reach her.”

As long as Shepherd was attached to me, he’d be immortal and bound to the human and Underworld. Just like me and my family, he would never know Heaven. I didn’t know what would happen to him if we failed to stop the end, but I didn’t want to lose him, either. Although I hated he was losing his sister, it didn’t change the fact that Shepherd belonged with me.

“I can’t go see her. She thinks I’m dead.”

I dropped his hand.No, no, no.My heart felt like someone jabbed needles through it as his words sunk in. Not once had he revealed himself to Tiffany. How could he hurt himself so much?

“Shepherd, you didn’t do this to yourself,” I said. He wouldn’t look at me. “Did you really keep yourself away from your sister all these years? I understood you couldn’t go to her when you were stuck in your reaping form, but I assumed you would—” Now I hated I didn’t see the truth in his memories.

Raising his head, his eyes searched mine as if he could find an answer within them. “What would I have told her?”

“I’ve seen those memories, Shepherd. I’ve experienced and saw firsthand who your sister is. She would have accepted you! You could have told her anything, and she’d have welcomed you home!” He covered his face, but I pulled his hand away. He needed to hear me. Deep down, he knew I spoke the truth. When I relived his memories, I felt the disgust he had for himself, and my reaction when we first met probably didn’t help that self-loathing of his. But we were two halves of a whole. I wouldn’t let him torment himself any longer.

“She’s right, Sire.” Dirk’s agreement surprised me. “You’ve kept her safe all these years and watched over her. It’s been foolish to hate what you are.”

“It’s too late now,” Shepherd said.

“That is the biggest lie you’ve ever told yourself, Soul Reaper.” Gritting my teeth, I slapped my hand over his heart. His heartbeat was erratic—a mess just like him. I couldn’t imagine how he came to the conclusion that absence was the best option. Was he so terrified of his sister’s response because he’d rejected himself a long, long time ago? “She’s most likely been waiting for you all these years. Without seeing the rest of your memories, I bet you’ve left breadcrumbs for her. You think she didn’t notice someone looking out for her?”

Pulling me close, he kissed my forehead. “Come on. I’ll take you back to the castle.”

“Then you’ll go see your sister?”

My question was met by silence.

Twenty

Prudence

Shepherd faded me home. Yes,faded.He asked me about the space we entered before crossing over to our next destination. We always called it the In-Between—a place out of time—so that was what I told him.

There was a brightness in his eyes as he gazed around the darkened, timeless hole before we arrived at the castle. He walked me to my bedroom, wished me a goodnight, and told me not to worry.

But I did.

The first hour after he left, I thought of him sitting alone wherever he lived, ignoring the clock on his wall. If he had one. Fear clouded my mind and twisted my stomach.

During the second hour, I paced my bedroom because I’d imagined he might be pacing.

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