Page 7 of She will Always be Mine

“We’ll reach home around midnight,” she says, as if I need another reminder. Her voice is smooth and calm as she talks, and then she abruptly pauses while my dad responds from the other end. “What do you mean I shouldn’t bring her back?”

Judging by her reply, I’m fairly certain she hasn’t told him. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be questioning her decision to bring me home. I relax while her spine stays rigid as she replies in a soft tone, “She isn’t doing great, honey, and I’m worried about her. Maybe if she spent some time with us, she’ll feel better. You know how it is. Being away from home can be hard and scary at first.”

The lies spill from her mouth easily, even though half of it is true. I remember how she was against the idea of me living in a big city alone, despite knowing I had family here.

She had tried so hard to guilt-trip me into not moving, going as far as to telling me to not even apply to the university here. At the time, I thought she was just being an overprotective mother, afraid to see her child go, so I didn’t think much of it.

But as I observe her right now, it’s almost like she foresaw something terrible was coming. Maybe there was more to her reluctance than I first imagined.

It raises so many suspicions in my head, providing me a momentary distraction from the other chaos trying to claw its way back to the forefront of my mind.

My hackles rise when she harshly snaps, “I told you sending her here was a mistake.” I become even more scared when her grip on the phone trembles as she pauses before replying, “Nothing happened, but I’m not going to wait until it does to protect my daughter.”

A little too late for that.

It takes all my strength not to crumble into pieces as sorrow stabs me in the chest at the pain behind my mother’s voice.

In my haste to keep myself standing, my right hand collides with the lamp on the table beside me, making it crash onto the floor with a loud bang. I look up in time to see my mom swiftly turn around while her eyes narrow at having caught me eavesdropping on her conversation.

“We’ll see you tonight, honey,” she smoothly answers while her eyes stay pinned on mine. “Love you too.”

“How long are you going to keep the truth from Dad?” I ask as soon as she hangs up. “It’s the middle of the school year and I’m going to miss my classes.”

“You should have worried about your studies before you decided to kiss your cousin, Nyra,” she snaps. “I’m not letting you out of my sight until I’m convinced you’ve moved on from Riaan and your sick little crush on him. Even then, I’m going to keep you far away from that boy because I neither trust nor respect him anymore. As far as your father is concerned, he will never find out.” she viciously sneers, ripping my heart out of my chest as she sneers, “I don’t think you can handle losing both of your parents’ love and respect.”

By the time she’s finished speaking, I realize the full extent of my punishment. It’s far more severe and harrowing than I imagined it would be.

Every time my mom will smile or laugh, stare at me adoringly or speak to me, I knew it was all for show. A mockery of our relationship.

To keep up the façade in front of everyone that I’m her dutiful daughter, while behind closed doors, I’ll be the daughter who caused her suffering, shredded her trust, and destroyed our bond.

Nothing hurts me more than knowing this is my new reality and that I have got no one to blame but myself.

Now the only question remains… How long until I find redemption for my illicit love?

Chapter Three

NYRA

There are times when it feels like every bone, muscle, and skin in our body is a tangible thing and not our own.

Almost like being trapped inside someone else’s body.

Or worse, like a ghost residing there.

Suddenly, we are wading through the onslaught of emotions, trying to control and remind ourselves it’s just us. It’s the same feeling running through my veins because I have never been so attuned to my body than right now.

Maintaining my balance on the stairs as I climb down them is a struggle, as if my legs will give out from under me anytime. Keeping my composure is even more of a hardship as laughter and voices from the kitchen and dining area drift into the hallway and pierce my ears.

The closer we get, the faster my heart beats, as if it will fall out of my chest at any moment. I have walked through these walls so many times now and yet it doesn’t feel the same.

Maybe it’s because of the fact that I can no longer hide in the dark anymore and have to face my family while pretending like nothing is wrong. As if my world hadn’t just turned upside down last night, caught in a blaze and burned to ashes.

I desperately want to run and hide in a corner because I don’t think I can handle sitting across my aunt and uncle, especially Riaan, and not burst into tears. The thoughts reverberate through my head as I follow after my mother quietly.

My mom must sense the oncoming panic and the breathlessness in my ribs because she stops just as we descend the stairs and twists around, looking me up and down.

“Smile, Nyra,” she says in a low voice. “Just like you’ve been perfectly doing this whole time.”

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