Page 63 of She will Always be Mine

She says the last part solemnly with sympathy shining in her bright gaze. All this time I thought I was masking my feelings for her but apparently not. I should’ve known nothing goes unnoticed by my mom under her roof.

“How come it never bothered you?” I question, finding it hard to believe she’s so supportive and not going ballistic and screaming like my aunt did. “How come you don’t think it’s wrong and forbidden? You don’t think I’m sick and disturbed?”

“Tell me this. Did you ever feel brotherly instincts toward her?”

“No.”

“Did you ever regret loving her? Felt like you’re doing something wrong?”

“Never.”

“Then you’re not sick, Riaan. You’re just a man in love.”

“A psychiatrist might say otherwise,” I say with a cruel laugh. “How are you even so sure, Ma? So easily accepting?”

“I won’t lie and say that the thought of distancing you and Nyra didn’t cross my mind. I won’t deny I didn’t get angry that you could make a mistake like this. But more importantly, I wasn’t going to make the same mistake I made in the past of punishing and scolding you every time you caused ruckus as a kid. I was only going to push you away so I sat back and tried to see past my own beliefs instead of judging you both for your actions.”

“Then what caused you to change your mind?” I ask curiously.

“Every bond or relation that exists takes time to nurture and grow. Just because one is born into it, doesn’t mean it’ll stay that way. You can’t expect someone to feel and love a certain way and the same goes for you and Nyra. Both of you never spent any significant time together as kids to be as close as cousins or siblings are supposed to be. You both were practically strangers growing up so you never had that bond that everyone is expecting of you. Instead it turned into an attraction and love that none of us saw coming.”

“Neither did I.”

Everyone searches for an explanation or a reason why we feel the way we do, fall for the last person on earth that we should. I was one of them, too, until Nyra crashed into me and made me realize that not everything has to have an answer. Sometimes the beauty lies in the forbidden and the unknown.

“Even if we had grown up together, it wouldn’t have mattered because my heart and soul will never have her in any other way besides being mine. All this distance has confirmed what I always knew: I can’t live without her. She’s not my other half, she’s my whole. My entire being. Nyra is my everything.”

Tears gather in my mother’s eyes when I look up, almost forgetting she was here while getting lost in the memories of Nyra. I don’t think it dawned on my mom until now about how deep my feelings ran for Nyra.

“Love works in mysterious ways, Riaan. Once the heart chooses to fall for someone, nothing else matters. No one can control who they fall in love with. Just like no one can control who stands in the way,” she softly replies and some of the weight lifts off my shoulder knowing I have someone on my side. “And the last thing you need is to be blamed or punished for it.”

“If only Auntie Sara was as understanding as you.”

“Just give her time and she’ll come around. She loves Nyra too much to stand in the way of her happiness, even if it may take a while,” she says comfortingly, her voice hopeful and sure. Next second, a spark glints in her gaze as she asks. “Now tell me how I can help.”

***

An hour later, I make my way out of the drawing room after I’m satisfied my plan is halfway into motion and all I have to do is count down the days.

I’m finally feeling like myself again after the wretchedness of the last month. Although it’s only been a whole fucking month since I’ve been apart from Nyra, it might as well been a lifetime. Time seems to stop when she’s not around.

A fresh wave of excitement thrums in my veins knowing it won’t be long until she is back.

I vow that this will be the first and the last time I spend days without Nyra.

Never again am I letting us go through this hellish torture.

I’m checking emails on my phone as I step out of the house, when I hear a vehicle pull up in the driveway and it’s none other than Zain’s car.

I haven’t seen him since the debacle in my office and if I thought my anger would lessen by now, but I was dead fucking wrong. I don’t think it ever will until I’ve punched his smug face.

He should count his lucky stars that I showed him mercy and didn’t come after his pitiful existence.

On the other hand, I had expected retaliation. But so far, he’s stayed silent and distant. I know it’s all a ruse. A trap until he attacks. I know this because while he and I may have never fought with one another, that doesn’t mean we haven’t had our fair share of fights with others over the years.

Zain’s not one to back down when someone’s wronged him. The scary thing about him is that he’s unpredictable yet calculative. Everything to him is a dare, a challenge, and as he’s gotten older, they’ve only become worse.

You never know if he’ll use his fists or his mind games.

---