Page 58 of She will Always be Mine

I don’t know if it’s tonight’s nightmare or my alarming fears that has me reaching for my phone on the nightstand. I have already made so many mistakes so, what’s one more?

All I know is that I want to hear his voice so I don’t feel so lonely and scared.

To not drown in sorrow and torment.

To stop feeling so dirty and tainted.

I just want him to tell me that I’m still his. And even if we stay apart for the rest of our lives, it will never change.

Despite knowing it’s unfair to him, I still search his name and unblock it. I know I’m being selfish and greedy, but he’s the only one I want to run to. The only one who accepts and loves me for who I am. So while it lasts, I want to soak it all in until he decides I hurt him irreparably once my torrid crimes are out.

Because no good deed goes unpunished.

Neither do sins.

It’s quite late and I don’t expect him to pick up. But still, with my heart slamming against my ribs, I dial his number. I’m holding my phone so tight against my ear that I’m afraid it might crack.

I hold my breath as soon as I hear the first ring and as if he was just waiting for me, he picks up.

“Nyra.”

My eyes close at the sound of his groggy voice which is rough around the edges, and I draw in an uneven breath that echoes in the silence of the room. Hearing my name on his lips is like coming home after staying too long in the dark.

“Baby,” he whispers raggedly, and a shiver races down my spine. “Please tell me you’re okay.”

I’m not… I want to say but the words get stuck in my throat. I hear his rough exhale and ruffling in background like he’s trying to sit up.

“Talk to me, sweetheart. You’re worrying me.”

“I-I need you,” I say, my voice faltering. “Everything hurts s-so badly.”

The tears I held at bay silently fall down my cheeks, soaking the pillow underneath. I desperately wish he were here, holding me in his arms until no taunting voice or hands could dare to touch me.

The monster wouldn’t get to me because Riaan would slay him before he could harm me, his protection and strength no match for my tormentor and their dark deeds.

“Oh, baby.” He murmurs softly, “I’m right here, Nyra.”

“I made a mistake,” I cry out and tell the truth. “I’m tainted, Riaan.”

“It doesn’t matter, baby girl.” He claims roughly. “Because if you’re tainted, then so am I. Don’t you know you’re so much more than that? You’re sweet, shy, caring and so beautifully fucked up. You’re everything to me, Nyra. Perfectly made just for me.”

If only he knew the truth.

He wouldn’t want me if he knew the sins I’ve committed. The lines I have crossed. I’m no longer his sweet and shy Nyra. I’m no longer the girl he fell in love with. That girl who’s everything to him, died in the aftermath of the catastrophe. I’m no longer deserving of him. Because he’s everything I’m not.

Powerful.

Protective.

Loyal.

Chapter Twenty

NYRA

“Who hurt you, Nyra?” he demands sharply, as if he can hear my thoughts.

“It’s too late.”

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