Page 170 of She will Always be Mine

My head fucking hurts and my mouth feels dry.

Memories from last night assault me and I search for my phone that Riaan hid away. A small part of me wants to avoid looking at it but I’ve learned my lesson. Pretending like it doesn’t exist doesn’t make the mess disappear, and neither does skirting around it.

Opening the drawer on the nightstand, I easily find it switched off.

I can’t stop the trembling in my hand as I stare at the screen. As soon as it lights up, messages and missed calls flood my sight. Each notification drowns out the rapid beat of my heart as it sinks.

My legs give out from under me when my dad’s name flashes at the top like a red flag.

There are dozens of missed calls and texts from him. The last message saying to call him or he’ll fly to Pune.

Fuck! My whole body goes cold. My lungs collapse as if I can’t get enough air and I know I’m going to faint. I count to ten and take deep breaths until my vision clears. I fall on the bed with my head in my hand and holding the tears at bay.

He knows, but how?

He couldn’t possibly be following my college’s unofficial social media page. Does this mean my blackmailer sent it to him? Or maybe Priyanka saw it and showed it to him.

No... She would have come to me first because there are missed calls from her too.

I thought I had time. But again, the choice is taken away from me.

I’m stuck in an endlessly toxic cycle. My life is no better than those hamsters stuck on a wheel.

A chime on my phone brings my focus back to it and my brows pull together as I notice the timings of the notifications. There are no new ones from this morning, everything is from last night. Curiosity has me clicking on one that leads to the awful confession page but I go still when it says the post is no longer available.

What the hell!

I refresh my screen, thinking my mind is playing a joke on me, but there’s still no sign of last night’s video. I go to my profile and check the tagged section but nothing’s there too.

How is that even possible?

Hope flares in my chest at the thought of someone taking it down, when it hits me that Riaan went to make a private call last night. Something I forgot about for a second. Could it have something to do with the video being gone like it never existed?

I know the damage is already done. Our reputations are ruined and I doubt I could change how my dad looks at me after learning about my taboo relationship with Riaan. Yet there’s no denying the relief I feel, knowing it’s no longer out there for the world to criticize and poke fun of. My heart says with conviction that it has something to do with Riaan making a phone call and leaving shortly after.

But where is he?

I amble out of the bedroom on bare feet and the apartment is too quiet. I don’t hear the soft clanking and clattering coming from our kitchen when he cooks breakfast.

My shoulders drop with anxiety when I find every room empty and silent, even the balcony.

Yesterday, I was too raw and shocked at the bomb that dropped that I forgot to check if he was all right or not.

He’s always so strong, impenetrable, and protective that I never realize he could be hurting too. I’ve been so busy wallowing in my own misery and wounds that we never talked about how everything’s been tough on him as well.

He knows everything I went through those two months I was away from him, yet I know nothing about him.

I can’t believe I’ve been so selfish.

Staggering to the kitchen to get water, my eyes catch the sticky note on the fridge. Stepping closer, I read Riaan’s handwritten note.

Baby,

I had the video taken down.

I wish I could’ve stopped it from being released.

Forgive me.

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