Page 137 of She will Always be Mine

I finally know how he must’ve felt that awful night.

It’s similar to my heart being ripped open and left out to bleed. Dread fills me at the thought that everything is about to fall apart. Although it was worse when it was me who walked out.

It was foolish of me to think he bought my lie. Going to the bathroom… God! What was I thinking. The excuse was bland, my obvious lie written all over it.

Besides, Riaan is too shrewd and smooth to fall for that.

Lately, he’s been watching every move I make like a hawk.

The sheer relief I felt that he didn’t catch me while I was snooping on Zain’s laptop has now evaporated. He wants to talk and I’m nowhere near ready. How can I be when I’ve become so used to keeping it locked away inside me for so long?

I saw the finality on his hard face.

Tonight was the last straw and my secrets can no longer be kept in the dark. I only hope he doesn’t hate me afterward.

With my body sore and aching from the orgasm denial and the ruthless way he fucked, I gingerly make my way into the bathroom. Although mascara is running down my cheeks, my hair a mess from all the pulling, and there are imprints of his fingertips around my throat, my dress is intact.

I should’ve fought harder and not let him have his way with me with my uncle and aunt so close, yet there was no stopping him.

He was visibly upset. I saw his body coiled with aggression, and I knew submitting was the only way to calm the darkness I could feel brewing to the surface.

He’s always sweet in his aftercare. But this time, he was efficient and mechanical. He didn’t even kiss me which hurt me more than his words ever could.

Gone for too long already, I clean up my face as best I can while covering the marks he left on my skin with my hair. My breath stutters when I see the sex toys discarded on the bed for anyone to find.

I liked them more than I should.

The initial shock had turned into curiosity and I can’t deny it was the hottest experience of my life.

Putting them away, I walk downstairs and hear voices coming from the living room. When I round the corner, Riaan is standing with his arms crossed and talking to Aunt.

I find no glimpse of the man who whispered dirty deeds in my ear. And although he’s aware of my presence, he doesn’t look my way and it stings.

It feels extremely wrong that my mouth tastes like him while standing two feet from his mom. I will my racing heart to calm and not fidget as I smile at her.

Can she tell we had sex upstairs?Please, I hope not.

“We’re going to leave, Ma,” Riaan says. “Thanks for the dinner.”

“You can both spend the night here, Riaan,” she suggests softly, then admonishes, “I probably won’t see you again for a few weeks.”

“Mom.” He sighs.

“Fine.” My aunt relents. “I had to try.” She narrows her eyes but I see the love shining there. Turning to me, she pulls me in a hug and demands, “You better not turn into him, honey. Come visit me often.”

“I will,” I answer with a laugh.

“Not without me,” Riaan claims and pulls me into his side. “I’ll bring her anytime she wants.”

I don’t tense this time and lean happily, satisfied he’s touching me again. I don’t like it when he’s upset. My aunt watches us with an indescribable emotion in her eyes before smiling at his protectiveness.

“You two make a beautiful couple,” she proudly compliments and it fills my heart with so much joy that I’m left speechless. All my life I’ve waited for others to accept my love for him and when someone finally does, it’s nothing less than a dream come true. “I’m going to make sure Sara and Jay sees it too, Nyra.”

When she mentions my parents, I only give a soft smile even though I think it may never happen. I don’t want to give myself hope that she can convince them, only for it to crash and burn. That promise has been broken one too many times now.

“It’s Nyra’s decision, Mom,” Riaan tells her sternly. “And not until we tell them ourselves.”

Her expression shifts and she simply nods in understanding. I don’t want her to feel upset so I tell her, “I really appreciate it, Auntie.”

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