Page 43 of She will Always be Mine

There’s so much I want to tell him that my heart could burst open anytime, but I settle for a more casual message. I lie to myself again that it’s only this one time thing when the truth is, it’s far from it.

Once I hit Send, it’d become tough to hold down the walls I’ve carved around my heart.

Because he’ll see it as a crack.

A beacon of hope.

It will never end with just one innocent text because he won’t let me. My gaze stays glued to the screen while my thumb is hovering over the Send button and just when the sensible side is about to win and I’m about to erase the message, the devil whispers again…It’s okay to need him. Just this once.

I lose the battle and press Send, and then I nervously bite my lip while regretting my decision immediately.

ME:I received the paperbacks. They are beautiful.

Thank you, Riaan.

Of all the things I could’ve said, I keep it light, innocent, with no mention of the letter because he’ll know it meant more to me than anything else.

I’m about to slam the phone down, when it suddenly rings, his number flashing on the screen.

Fuck.

My heart slams against my ribs, beating harder and faster with each second that passes as I stare at the screen, letting it go to voicemail.

I can’t talk to him knowing I’ll break down into tears if I hear his dark voice. I never realized how much I missed and loved it until this very second.

Just his voice whispering my name in that low and throaty tone has the power to make me tremble, shiver, and wet with desire.

Besides, I need to draw the line somewhere.

Otherwise, we’ll fall into the same old pattern and into each other once again, and I’m not sure if we’ll survive this time.

I finally breathe easy when the ringing stops, but then my phone pings. Holding my breath, I swipe it open to read the messages.

ARROGANT THIEF: Let me hear your voice, Nyra.

ARROGANT THIEF:You’ve made me wait long enough.

ARROGANT THIEF: Just talk to me, baby girl. I miss you.

A lone tear slips down my cheek as I read his last text.

It shocks me to see him reveal his vulnerability.

For someone who’s only ever intense, hard, and strong, it still amazes me how I bring out this emotion in him. And with each text, he comes close to breaking down my resolve.

It’s like I predicted, he wouldn’t stop with just one text. He’ll always be asking—no,demanding—more. I swear, persistence should be his middle name.

Some unknown fear is holding me back, though, and I can’t explain why. Maybe it’s because I’m scared it would be too personal, intimate, or maybe my guilt is still too heavy to face him.

Texting at least provides the semblance of a wall between us that I desperately want to maintain. Instead of replying to tell him any of this, I make a plausible excuse.

ME:I recently got my phone back, Riaan. Can’t risk Mom taking it away again.

Of course, he doesn’t make it easy and I glance down at my phone as another message appears.

ARROGANT THIEF:You’re a stubborn little thing, aren’t you? It’s a safe excuse so I’ll let you get away.

I can almost hear his taunting voice growling in my ear.

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