Page 41 of She will Always be Mine

“I-I’m sorry, Jay.” She says his name pleadingly and then murmurs, “She just made a mistake but it wasn’t her fault. All I’m asking you is to please trust me to take care of our daughter.”

“Trust goes both ways,” he retorts and sighs. “I have a right to know what’s going on with my kid. Just answer me this, Sara. Does it have anything to do with your past?”

“Of course not,” says Mom with a loud gasp, like it’s too horrific to even imagine. I hold my breath, scared she may tell the truth but when few seconds pass, she doesn’t. “It’s just the stress that’s bringing back all the old memories that I wish I could erase forever. I just don’t want her to end up like me, Jay. I won’t survive it if she becomes a former shell of herself, just going through life without actually living.”

“You keeping her at a distance is doing exactly that, honey,” he says.

“What?” She gasps, taken aback. “I’m trying to protect her in the only way I know how.”

“You’re hurting her instead. She needs her mom now more than ever,” he says. “If you keep this up, it’s only going to push her away from you and it won’t be long before she begins to resent you.”

Tears flow freely as I listen to them and I appreciate my dad taking my side even though he’s so far from the truth.

On the upside, it’s the first time in a while that I have seen the glimpse of my old mom. It tells me I haven’t lost her completely. Yet it both saddens me and gives me a sense of relief to finally hear her admit that she’s hurting just as I am.

I wish she would realize that Riaan could never hurt me and that her fears are invalid. All she has to do is give me a chance to explain instead of keeping me at arm’s length.

If she could just see past the conventional rules our society has deemed acceptable, she’ll see just how much he loves me, cares for me, and would walk through the gates of hell just to protect me.

I understand things escalated between them the last time they were together, but it was only because he was hurting.

If only Mom could see past that.

Silence hangs in the air while she processes his words and then whispers, “You’re right. I need to explain my perspective to her.”

“I’m still upset with you, Sara. I thought we promised each other to never keep secrets, let alone the ones that have to do with our kids.”

“I didn’t want you to worry,” she admits “And please don’t say anything to Nyra. I know what you’re thinking, but she can never know about my past.”

It’s too late for that, Mom,my mind screams.

“I wouldn’t betray you like that, no matter how angry I am at you,” Dad finally answers her, his voice cold. “Someday, you’re going to have to tell her yourself.”

“That day will never come.” Conviction laces her voice.

Mom doesn’t realize that Dad won’t rest until he knows the whole truth. She made a huge mistake even confessing this tiny bit. It’s almost like waving a red flag in front of an angry bull.

All the secrets and the lies are drawing a wedge between them. She won’t be able to hide the truth just like she couldn’t hide hers, even if it’s only the tip of the iceberg.

In the next second, I hear another door slam and I just know it was Dad walking out on her.

Even as they go to sleep, so many unanswered questions run through my head.

Like a chapter has opened that I never even knew existed.

The most shocking is that my mom apparently has a dark and tormented past that she never told us about. I assume it’s because she probably didn’t want to worry us but I still can’t help but be hurt.

Karma is a bitch, after all, because it made me understand the way she must have felt when she saw me with Riaan.

I don’t believe for a second that the resurfacing of her old wounds has nothing to do with my mistake. The only one who can connect the dots at this moment is my dad, but he would have to know the whole truth first. That’s not a fucking possibility.

I have to find another way before it could escalate into something we can’t come back from.

After the mind-blowing day I’ve had, I can only pray to whoever is listening.

No more unexpected revelations, please.

Chapter Fifteen

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