Page 32 of These Sinful Kingdoms

“Honestly? I’m fucking exhausted about this already. I just wanted to live my life. I had hoped with Alonso gone, I could disappear into the distance and never have to worry about this lifestyle and yet here I am, dragged back into the drama just to get what is mine.” She laughed bitterly.

“My father would be laughing in his grave, knowing that he was still causing me suffering from the beyond. I didn’t want this life. Especially not Fabian. Now that Jasper has crawled out from under whatever rock he was under, I have another battle on my hands.” She sighed and I reached out to touch her hand.

“We don’t get to choose our lives Aurora. They are mapped out for us. But we do get to choose how we react within each chapter. We get to choose the ending. This is your test. You can run from it all you like but, in the end, your name is Aurora Moretti. You cannot escape that. You have no choice but to step up and embrace it. The choice is yours, how you will do so. With fear or with the rage of a lioness who will protect her kingdom.” I squeezed her hand in mine, selfishly enjoying the contact.

“You are right. But then, didn’t you choose to live your life, Caleb? Some people do get to live their dream.” I couldn’t stop the bitter laugh as I sat back, running my hand through my hair and drinking deeply from the wine.

“I thought I chose this life, but I didn’t. This isn’t my dream. I don’t think it ever was. I live in the shadow of my own father too, Aurora. If I could do it all again, I may never have become a priest. I sacrificed too much; I can’t have the very thing I dream about.” My voice broke as I swallowed, worried I had said too much.

Aurora watched me and I was acutely aware of Kingston and Luca listening, even if they were pretending, they weren’t.

“What do you dream about?” she asked softly, and my throat constricted. I could tell her. I could be honest and throw caution to the wind right now or I could lie.

I took another sip of the wine, torn between my heart and my head. It was in this moment that I truly wished I could hear the word of God, that I could hear his guidance clear and precise but why would he encourage me to sin?

“Caleb?” Aurora pushed, reaching out to touch my arm. Her hand was warm through my sweater, and I caught the scent of her perfume, longing pulling me under.

“You.” I said, voice barely a whisper.

“What?” She frowned at me, confused. I couldn’t go back now. My heart raced in my chest, and I felt an odd sense of exhilaration.

“You. I dream about you.” I heard the intake of Luca and Kingston’s breath behind me, but it was Aurora I was focused on.

I looked at her, expecting to see disgust, after all, I was forty-five years old, and she was only thirty. I was a priest, a man who had watched her from afar all these years; regardless of the games we played.

When she didn’t speak, I knew I had said too much. She was trying to be kind and couldn’t find the words to do so.

“I’m sorry. I misspoke and now I have overstayed my welcome.” I stood quickly, pulling my arm from her hand as I hurried to the door.

Luca followed me as I walked to my car, feeling like a coward as I ran. He leaned over my door before I could close it, a smile on his lips.

“Be patient, Caleb. You shocked her.” I stared at him and then shook my head.

“No. I was wrong to have done that. She has you and Kingston. I was selfish in my own longings, I was weak and I know better.” I tried to pull the door shut and Luca sighed.

“You think we don’t know what goes on between the two of you in confession? Don’t underestimate her, Caleb.” He stood back, letting me close the door as I turned on the car, sitting there for a moment as I considered his words.

They knew what we said? What we did? Shame filled me, mixing with the longing that had grown into a painful sensation in my chest.

No. I wasn’t the man for her, I was wrong to assume anything, but the pain would come from my own confession.

I drove away, running from the woman who had haunted my mind all these years, and drove straight to the only place I had ever known, the place that felt like chains weighing on my soul.

I drove to church to absolve my sin.

Chapter sixteen

Aurora

Kingstonnoddedtomeas I walked towards the church. He had driven me here to chase Caleb down. Caleb’s confession shocked me but also thrilled me too.

Luca and Kingston had found it amusing, saying it was about time the man grew some balls and told me how I felt and that left me even more confused.

I was struggling to understand how it was so easy for them to accept each other and now, to accept the possibility of someone else in my life. I had no idea what I was doing here, or what I wanted to come from this, but I knew I couldn’t at least follow through.

Caleb and I had spent years playing our dangerous forbidden game, I had spent countless nights fantasizing about one of them finally coming true.

He was the ultimate forbidden fruit and yet he was also a kind man, a man who I trusted, admired, and saw as family.

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