Page 18 of These Sinful Kingdoms

At first, I had cast my judgment too, but then I saw the way they had all been together and I realized that they had something special, a relationship with not only the woman they loved, but with men who were close to each other as well. Their own family unit.

“Yes. I love them. I always have. I guess now that love is shifting into something deeper now that I know how they feel.” She sighed as she sat back in her chair.

“Aurora. I have known you for a very long time. These men are lucky to have you and you are lucky to have found love with them. Do not let the fears in your mind hold you back from something great. You don’t want to have regrets in your life.” I looked away, feeling my own regrets at not being able to tell her the truth.

“Do you have regrets, Father?” she asked with a husky voice, and I looked at her, the way her eyes pierced my soul.

“Yes. I have many regrets.” I said softly, watching as she licked her lips and considered her next words.

“What do you regret?” Her voice was barely a whisper, and my palms became clammy. I could tell her now. Confess my sins to her.

“I regret not finding love. Not going after another life and seeing what else was on offer.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t a confession.

“Have you ever loved someone, Father?” She said and I clenched my fists. That damn word.

“Please. Call me Caleb, Aurora.” I said, watching her eyes widen slightly.

“Very well. Have you ever loved someone…Caleb?” The sound of my name on her lips was like a choir, a summoning to my soul.

“Yes. I still love them.” She looked away, her hand running up and down the handle of the teacup.

“Then you should go after love as well. I will take your advice and jump in, let go of my fear. Perhaps you should do the same thing too. Everyone deserves to be loved. Even men who have devoted their lives to God.” She waved her hand at the room, gesturing to the church.

“It is not that simple for me, I am afraid. The person I love wouldn’t accept me. Do you believe in all this, Aurora?” I asked, wanting to shift the subject.

She shrugged, looking around at the different items on the wall, her fingers twirling through the chain around her neck.

“I don’t think so. Not in the way I am supposed to. I believe in spiritual support and guidance. Perhaps there was once a man called Jesus who walked the earth, and the concept of God is not what I see taught here. I don’t believe in the punishment of the wicked and the rewards of the good in the sense of Heaven and Hell. But I believe having some support in a spiritual way is soothing for the soul.” She smiled as I processed her words.

It made perfect sense in some ways even if it did challenge the very essence of who I was and what this place stood for.

“I have to get to another appointment, but thank you, Caleb. I still believe you should take your own advice. You never know what this person you love might say.” She smiled as she stood, and I hurried to open the door to her.

A part of me was regretting that our little game of sin and punishment wasn’t on the agenda today and the other part of me was filled with longing and hope that perhaps she was right.

As she walked past me, I brushed my hand over her arm, wishing I could tell her all the thoughts in my head. She stopped, looking up at me with slightly parted lips. She was so close I could feel her warmth and it was taking everything I had not to reach out and touch her.

“Perhaps I should ask for my punishment just in case Heaven truly is a real place.” she whispered; her eyes dark with desire as she looked at me.

I almost groaned with pure need as I looked at her, grateful she was giving me this much.

“I would suggest getting down on your knees like a good girl and asking for forgiveness.” She licked her lips, stepping closer to me, so close that her hand brushed over my leg.

“What kind of forgiveness should I ask for?” She was a temptress, a goddess of sin and lust. She was my every dark desire and I wished I could take her into my arms right now and show her how she made me feel.

“Perhaps you should ask your new lovers to spank your ass until they feel you have served your punishment like a good girl.” I watched as her pupils expanded, her breath hitching as her lips parted in a silent O.

“I will do that, Caleb. And I will think of you with every strike.” She turned to walk away, leaving me there hard as a rock and desperate for more.

That wicked woman. Did she know? Was she aware that the person I loved was her? I quietly watched as Luca stepped through the doors with a smile. He leaned down to kiss her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and walking her out.

I felt like a forsaken man, lost in the desert and the one who could save me had no idea I was dying for her touch.

I would have to satisfy myself with my visions only, living in my self-imposed purgatory of sin.

Chapter ten

Aurora

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