Page 126 of Lust

Damien rolls his eyes at them before saying, "As far as the wedding, it's fine by me. But I'm not the one whom you have to talk to about that. I'm just the groom." He looks serious again. "And it really is up to My-Linh. All of it. If Clarissa's going to be a part of our lives, she has to be okay with it. I love you. You're my big brother. You're literally my flesh and blood. But make no mistake. My-Linh is my heart and soul. You know the choice I'll have to make if she's not okay with this."

I would expect nothing less from him. "No problem, My-Linh adores me."

Kylian snorts and slaps me on the back of the head. "Maybe. But her henchman might not."

"Shit."

Chapter 39

Clarissa

Idon'trealizeI'mjust sitting staring out the window until there's a gentle knock on the door that pulls me out of my thoughts. It's been almost an hour since Matthias texted; it must've been a long talk for him only to be coming back now.

"Come in."

There's a pause before the door handle turns and it reveals My-Linh standing there with a bag.

"Hi," she says nervously. "I wasn't sure I should come. You probably don't want to talk to me. I just wanted to drop off some drinks and food. I thought you might be thirsty."

"Actually, I'm parched," I admit. "Please, come in."

She holds the bag out to me. I look inside. There are bottles of water and soda. And a bag of Caramello Koalas. She can't know.

"Thank you," I say gratefully. "I'm sorry. I'm really not here to cause any problems. I..... I couldn't be alone. It's hard to explain."

This is a surreal moment. I'm not entirely sure I'm awake. I've spent so much time hating this woman. And here she is, on her wedding day, making sure I don't starve to death.

She shakes her head kindly. "You don't have to explain. I believe you. Can I come in? I don't know where everyone has gone, and Kiara's trying to find someone to play poker with to work out some of her stress so I need to hide.""

I gesture into the room. "You're the bride."

She doesn't sit, just stands next to me at the window, as we watch a little sparrow pick at a rose.

"I won't take up too much of your time. I just have two questions. You can answer or not, it's up to you." I just nod. Her face looks determined. "Why did you do what you did to Damien?"

A long exhale whooshes through my lips. She didn't come to play. And I have no intention of sugar coating any of it. I'm past that now. I can't ever move on if I don't take accountability for what I did.

A deep breath.

"I was a very different person a year ago. I was unhappy. I didn't know who I was. I was cruel and selfish. And Damien had reneged on our deal and I was mad. Back then, I cared how people in our society thought about me. I hated the things that everyone was saying behind my back, hell some of it was right to my face. I couldn't get a date to save my life. I was Damien Baxter's ex. No one wanted to touch me with a ten-foot pole. It hurt my ego in a hundred different ways. So, I hit him where it hurt, his family, his company."

I take another deep breath and glance over at her. Her face is neutral, and she's listening intently.

I continue, "I want you to know that the whole time we were 'together' again, he didn't touch me once. He didn't hold my hand, he didn't reach out and accidentally graze my fingers passing the salt. He didn't help me zip up a dress. He didn't help me out of a car, he didn't even open a car door for me. He didn't touch me one time. We didn't share a bedroom, and barely shared a life. He didn't talk to me about you, he didn't talk to me about anything. He made it clear that he was there against his will. And then one day, he left again. Because it turns out there is one thing he loves more than his company.You.I did it because I thought I was never going to find love. That it was a fairy tale. And when he told me he was in love with you, I thought he was deluded. That we understood each other because we both knew that it was a myth. And that one day he would realize that I did him a favor. Because together we could be a good team." I swallow. "What I didn't understand then was that we lacked the one thing that would've made it bearable for a lifetime. What you two have now."

She doesn't say anything, just plays with the necklace on her neck. I recognize it as the Baxter boys' grandmother's wedding necklace. It was supposed to be in their father's care. The only way she has it is if he gave it to her. I'd had my eye on it for decades. And now, I know, the right woman owns it.

I clear my throat, nervous. "And your other question?"

She nods. "Are you doing the same thing to Matthias?"

"No."

The length of the two answers makes us both chuckle, a moment of brevity in a sea of tension.

But I owe her more than that. "Matthias is the one who originally came up with the idea. I need a green card to stay in the States and I don't want to go anywhere else. The person... I was supposed to marry didn't work out." I unconsciously touch the side of my temple where Patrick struck me. The bruise is gone but the ghost of it is still there. My-Linh notices and frowns, but doesn't say anything. "And Matthias, well, you know, he needed a little stability for his reputation, leading up to the IPO. So... he approached me. When he first mentioned it, I thought he was pranking me. But he wasn't. Over time, granted, not a long time"—I chuckle—"something happened between us. And here we are. But no, this is not the same thing. I would never hurt him."

"Okay." That's all. Just one word.

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