“ERIC.” I TAKE a step back in surprise. “What brings you by? Come to take another swing at someone?”
My brother’s frown deepens. “We need to talk, Tanner.”
“Fine.” I open the door wider, and he steps inside.
He glances around, his disapproval evident. “So this is where you live now.”
I can only hope Eric’s come to his senses. “I miss you,” I begin, only for him to cut me off.
“What the hell, man? That’s not how we talk to each other. I guess that answers my question. You’ve gone soft. Are you still—” His face knots up in disgust. “With that guy?”
“Yes.” I try to contain my rising anger. I want a calm discussion with Eric. I want my brother in my life. We’ve always been close. He’s got to get over this. “I’m still with Cody. Nothing’s changed.”
“Why the hell not?” Eric demands, just as pissed off. As if he has the right. If anyone gets to be angry, it’s me.
“Why should it?” I retort. “I told you that night at the bar. I’m involved with Cody. That’s not going to change. Why on earth do you think it would?”
“I was hoping that you were just drunk and messing with me. I can’t believe my own brother would get involved in something like that. The fuck’s up with that?”
“Look, Eric,” I attempt. “This is who I am, but I haven’t changed either. I’m still your big brother, no different than I have been for your entire life.”
“I’d say you sure as hell have changed.”
I shake my head. “No, I really haven’t. On some level, I’ve always known who I am, but I was too afraid to act on it. When I had the chance, everything fell into place. This is who I am and who I’ve always been. You need to accept me as I am, Eric. I need you to do that, because I want you in my life.”
“I never thought we wouldn’t be in each other’s lives, Tanner,” he says. “This isn’t you. That guy Cody must have corrupted you. This is all his fault. You’ve got to get away from him. I can’t stand him, look what he’s done to you.”
“That’s not what I meant. And it’s not just Cody. It’s Brad, too.”
“What do you mean, Brad too?” Eric asks.
I clear my throat. “Brad and I are together too.”
Eric snorts. “You are not. Stop joking around. This is serious.”
“Brad’s my best friend and he always will be. Because of him, I was able to realize something that I already knew, deep down. This is me, Eric. It has nothing to do with Cody or Brad. They both just helped me become who I truly am. That’s what a good friend’s supposed to do. You’ve always looked up to Brad. You’ve always liked him. I remember when you used to dress like him, and got into the same music. It was just like when you were little and you’d try to talk like I did. You always considered him a big brother. You still should. He’s part of our family too. He always has been.”
Eric’s remembering everything. His expression changes as the wheels turn in his mind.
Until they derail. I can already tell. He’s rewriting history, deciding he never liked Brad. Or me.
“Tanner, if this was a one-off, like some sort of experiment, I can forgive you.”
“Forgive me? For what? I did nothing wrong.”
“Come and work with me,” Eric continues. “Be around some real men.”
“Isn’t me being around men what you have a problem with?”
My joking attempt to lighten the mood falls flat.
Eric reddens. “Real ones, not your roommates. They took you down the wrong path. You can come and live with me too.”
“Eric, you’re my brother and nothing should ever get in the way of that. Isn’t it better if we stay close like we’ve always been? I don’t want that to change. I don’t think you do either.”
“I never wanted anything to change,” he mumbles. “Least of all you, Tanner.”
“Why does this bother you so much? What’s wrong with men being together? You went to school with a couple of gay guys, didn’t you? They were your friends. You never cared about it then.”