Page 25 of He's the One

“You know what you have to do?” Dastardly sipped his coffee.

Theo took a guess. “Make sure the photography class is set out properly, check the judge has what she needs, walk round being nice and throw my cloak on top of muddy puddles for people to walk over. Oh, and help with the promises auction.” Theo was pretty sure that was it.

“Theo!” his mother snapped.

“Youdon’twant me to throw my cloak over muddy puddles?”

“Don’t be facetious. What did your father ask you to do?”

Shit!Theo took a bite of toast to give him chance to think while he chewed. What had he missed? His mind was still blank by the time his mouth was empty.

“I was wondering how long you could make that mouthful last.” She twisted her face into an unpleasant sneer. “Remembered yet?”

“Ask people what would make them more likely to visit Asquith—a treetop challenge with zip lines or an exhibition of Anne Boleyn’s underwear.”

His mother gave a horrified gasp.

“Hartlebury Castle has a pair of Queen Victoria’s knickers on display.” Theo grinned.

“We will not be doing that here.”

“You’re to ask visitors what they’d like to see at Asquith without putting ideas into their heads,” she said.

“Of course.” And if Theo added duck herding and a farriering race, who would know? He cheered up.

“Please circulate this morning and offer to help with setting up,” Dastardly said. “Be back here at eleven, Lord Theo. Wearing your suit. And keep your phone on, please. Thank you.”

Twopleasesand athank youand none of them sincere. Dastardly left the room and Theo had to wait for his mother to leave before he could help himself to food for Isla. He ate a slice of toast he didn’t want and finally, his mother left, though not without saying, “Watch your step, Theodore.”

“I’ll avoid muddy puddles.”

Though he only said that after she’d gone. He deliberately switched off his phone, took a Ziplock bag from his pocket, and helped himself to two sausages and the last rasher of bacon.

Col took his own car to Asquith Hall because his father’s vehicle was full, packed with his mum, his mum’s friend Astrid, his dad’s friend Stanley who had his candyfloss machine on his lap. The boot was full of cakes, flowers and vegetables of every size and shape. Col had no idea whether the restoration work was finished, but no one would be working there on a Saturday, unless Frank was paying overtime. Though Theo would probably be around somewhere and Col was hoping to bump into him. More than hoping. He intended to look for him.

It was Col’s first time driving in through the main entrance. Elaborate wrought iron gates were sandwiched between stone pillars topped by eagles with their wings spread. The birds were worn and Col would love to have made new ones. Sturdy trees lined the driveway, sentinels to the hall, which was just visible in the distance. As Asquith came into full view, Col blinked. It really was beautiful. He particularly liked the crenelated roofline.

When he’d studied stonemasonry, his interest had grown in the way buildings were constructed and designed. He became fascinated with the different types of columns and colonnades, all the design motifs and the variety of windows and how they changed over the years. He particularly liked carvings and gargoyles, though there were no gargoyles here. Wherever he went, he was always looking to see if anything needed work. He wasn’t clever enough to be an architect, though he could follow their designs and instructions well enough.

A guy was directing vehicles off the drive to park in a field and Col pulled up next to his father. It was lucky the recent couple of days of bad weather hadn’t made the ground muddy. Today’s forecast was warm and sunny and while it was still chilly as it was so early, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. As he stepped from the car, he was hit by the smell of freshly mown grass. The neat lines left on this field weren’t going to survive the hundreds of cars that would park there.

The five of them headed towards the marquees that had been erected on a lawn next to the hall. It took two trips to get everything up there. Col carried the candy floss machine for Stanley who was carting bags of multicoloured sugars and the generator. Col helped him set up on a stand near the line of market stalls where all sorts of goods were being put on display, then headed for the largest marquee.

Col’s mum came up to him and handed him the envelope holding his photographs. He’d wondered if she hadn’t trusted him to bring it himself.

“Pick up the tickets for your classes over there, sweetheart. Good luck!”

He stood in line, then gave his name to one of the women sitting behind a trestle table. She checked her chart and handed him two numbered labels. When Col saw the photographs that were already on display, he lowered his hopes. There was a fantastic shot of a fieldmouse curled up in half a coconut shell hanging from a tree branch, another of a kingfisher in flight and a brilliant one of a fox eating from a bird table.Oh well.Col doubted his picture of the stag stood much chance of winning, but he attached a sticky label to the back and put it on the table next to its number.

His other picture was for theBest Photograph Featuring Poultry,and when he looked at the others, he realised it wasn’t the joke he’d assumed it to be. So far, all the photographs were of exotic hens and beady-eyed cockerels with magnificent plumage. Col hesitated, then put his with the others. He’d had a word with a friend of his mum’s who kept chickens, then bought five boxes of sage and onion stuffing and scattered them in the coop before snapping lots of pictures of the hens pecking them. Maybe it would make someone laugh. His mum and dad had chuckled. The important thing was that he’d done what his mother had asked him to do.

When he was back at her side, one by one her friends came over, supposedly to talk to her, but really, Col suspected, to take a look at him. It felt like almost all of them had a gay relation or knew a lovely gay man that they were sure Col would get on with. He was polite, but it was starting to hurt.

“What did you tell everyone?” Col muttered when they were on their own. “That your sad gay son desperately needed a boyfriend?”

“No! Just that you were home to stay for a while.”

“And?”

---