Page 142 of He's the One

“This has taken a morbid turn but no, not even death.”

“I don’t believe in an afterlife,” Theo whispered.

“Nor do I, though I like to imagine my parents suffering in hell. But there is a sort of life after death. Long after we’ve ceased to exist, at the point that the sun explodes, the stardust that was once inside us, will return to life in the form of a new nebula. We’ll be together then.”

Theo stared at him without blinking. “We’re made of stardust and new stars will be made from our remains?”

Col nodded.

“How will my bits of stardust find your bits?”

“Because we’re meant to be together. We’ll always find each other.”

“Oh,” Theo said quietly. “You know how I’m always full of words? Well, apart from the few I’ve just uttered, I’m suddenly not because that was so lovely.”

They stopped walking.

“Now I’m flooded with words again,” Theo whispered. “How can you tell if you’re in love? How do you know when something is love and not just lust?”

“You just know.” Col’s heart thumped. “You feel it when you see the person you love has been hurt over and over and yet not closed his heart to the world, when he faces disappointment and still manages to smile, when he has an inner strength that keeps him going, when he wants to try everything, be everything and isn’t afraid of failure.”

Col freed his hands and took hold of Theo’s. “A man who makes me smile, who shows me the world can be beautiful even on the darkest day, someone who’d stand next to me if we were in danger and not shrink away, someone, who when the initial madness of lust subsides, knows that the entanglement is still there, just as strong, maybe stronger. That man is you. I love you, Theo.”

As Theo started to fall, Col pulled him in close. “I’ve got you.”

“Col!”

Col kissed him again.

“You love me?” Theo whispered into Col’s mouth.

“How can anyone not love you?”

They stood for a long while, Theo’s head pressed into Col’s chest and Col could feel him trembling. Col remembered when he’d told Robert he loved him and saw now that he’d been wrong. He wished he’d never told him that, wished that the first time he’d said it had been for Theo.

He knew Theo was crying and it made him want to cry too. His heart felt too big for his chest, swollen with emotion. They might not have known each other for that long but it was long enough.

“I love you and I’ll love you forever,” Col whispered.

“I love you too,” Theo whispered back.

“You made me wait a long while for that.”

“Two minutes. Were you beginning to wonder?”

Col chuckled.

“I’ve never said that to anyone before. Apart from my teddy. I wanted to tell my brother I loved him but I never did. Nor my sister. Idolove you. I’m going to find a hundred ways to show you.”

“Over how long?”

“The next hour? We better go back.”

“No, I want to hunt for treasure.”

Theo gave a dramatic moan. “That didn’t last long.” He picked up his detector.

“See? That’s one. You’re doing what I want.”

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