Page 74 of Savage Princess

The silence hung between us, heavy and full of uncertainty, and I wanted her to say something. Anything to make this easier.

“I can’t promise to be a good husband,” I told her quietly. “I can’t promise to leave the Syndicate. Nothing is that simple, not for me. But Lidiya—I can try. I can try to make you happy. To love you the way you deserve. And everything else—”

I hear her breathe in softly. I don’t know what she’s going to say. I’m sure that it’s going to be a rejection—and when she speaks, her words surprise me, striking me down to my core.

“It’s Lidiya Volkov now, isn’t it?

And then she was in my arms, tumbled back into the bed, and it felt as if nothing could go wrong in the world ever again, so long as she stayed there for a lifetime.

I remember all of it in a rush, in a painful burst of memory that seizes my heart in my chest and makes my breath stop for a moment. I remember everything that came after—how good it all was for so long, how I’d believed that I could leave the life I had and start a different one with her, and how I’d come home to a sea of red, to so much blood that I couldn’t have ever imagined it, to all our dreams laid open, dead before they could ever really be more than just that.

I can’t do it again.

“If I had left Lidiya alone,” I say quietly, not looking at Elena, “she would be alive. She would have alife. Whatever life that would have looked like without me, it would have been better than not having one at all. I believe that. And so—”

I breathe in deeply, forcing the words out, knowing that they need to be said. “What we had was good. But—” I force myself to look up at her, to see the hurt on her face, to drive the knife in deeper—because it’s the only way she’ll walk away for good. “I’ve always told you this is where it ended, Elena. Just let it be what it was. Don’t make either of us have to regret it.”

I see her flinch at that, as if I’d struck her. The look of pain on her face feels like a knife in my own heart, but I don’t say anything else. I don’t soften it. And after a moment, she just nods, her eyes welling up with tears.

And then she turns away, and leaves me there.

Elena

Levin keeps his distance from me for the remainder of the flight. I doze off for a little while, jerking awake in panicked terror when we hit a patch of turbulence. I stay white-knuckled for the rest of the flight until we finally touch down in Boston.

He emerges from the back, looking as tired as I feel, and my chest clenches painfully. I don’t know what to say. I want to reach for him, to say a dozen different things, and I know none of them will make any difference. Nothing is going to change.

“Are you ready?” he asks, and I want to tell him no. I’m not ready. Not to be in this new place, or to try to remember who I was before, not to see my sister, and I’m definitely not ready to let him go. But I don’t say any of that.

I just nod, and follow him down the steps and out to the waiting car.

We’re taken to the building where the Kings are headquartered first. Levin gets out of the car, holding the door open for me, and as I step out, I look around. It’s warm out, but I shiver anyway, feeling my stomach tighten with anxiety.

“You’ll meet Connor and Liam McGregor,” he says as we walk into the building and to the elevator. “They’re both good men, although Liam is a bit more—personable. You won’t need to say much. And Isabella and Niall will be on their way soon. You’ll be home before you know it.”

His voice is detached, almost professional. I’ve already lost him, even though he’s still standing here. I have to force back the tears, swallowing hard as the elevator goes up, longing for the moment when I’ll be alone, and I can finally let it all out.

I’ve been due for a breakdown for a while now.

There are two men sitting at a table when we walk in—one a bit older with handsome, elegant features and auburn hair, and another with more boyish, rugged features and brighter red hair. The older-looking one introduces himself as Connor, and the younger as Liam.

“Elena Santiago,” I say faintly, and Liam smiles.

“We know. We’re glad you’re finally here safely, Elena. It’s been quite the journey for you. Your sister will be here soon. We’ve already called her.”

I nod, feeling a wave of exhaustion crash over me. Vaguely, I hear both men starting to talk to Levin about what happened and Levin debriefing them on the events since we left Mexico. It’s not until I hear Connor’s gruff, deeply accented voice asking Levin if there were any “complications,” in a pointed way that tells meexactlywhat he’s talking about, that I manage to pull myself out of the fog.

I see Levin hesitate, and I have a feeling he’s about to admit it—that something did happen between him and me. I’m not entirely sure why I stop him. It doesn’t matter any longer. But some part of me doesn’t want it laid out for anyone else to hear—and I don’t want it to become something that Levin shouldn’t have done. Something that wasn’t a part of the “mission.”

“No,” I tell Connor, looking at him evenly. “Nothing happened between us. He did his job and kept me safe. That’s all.”

I see Connor’s eyes flick towards Levin, as if assessing him. And then he shrugs, nodding. “Well then. You can head back to New York whenever you’re ready. We can fly you back in the morning, if you’d like.”

“Aye, he’s welcome to stay with us,” a deep voice from the doorway says. I turn to see a tall, dark-haired man with deep blue eyes, wearing jeans and a leather jacket, standing there—and my sister next to him, her face awash with happiness as she bolts towards me.

“Elena!” She grabs me, wrapping her arms around me in a fierce hug, squeezing me so tightly that I can’t breathe for a moment. “I was so worried about you—I’m so glad you’re here! You’re safe—I missed you so much. Oh my god—”

She hugs me again, pulling back to smooth my hair away from my face, and looks at me, shaking her head. “I’m sure you’re exhausted. We’ll get you home—and yes, of course, Levin can stay the night with us. We’d be happy to have him.”

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