Page 2 of Savage Princess

I hear that thread of possessive anger in his voice again. I can’t pretend that it doesn’t excite me. Having him protect me, want me, keep me safe—it feels like a fantasy. Like something I’d read in a book.

A small, wicked part of me wants to push, to see what happens if he explodes—what he’d say or do if I made it sound as if I really were thinking of going off without him. But just like picking a fight, I know it’s not really going to help anything.

I let out a long, frustrated breath. “No, Levin. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that I don’t want to just be left out of the loop. I want to know what you’re planning.”

There’s a moment of heavy silence, and then Levin nods. “Once we’re back in Rio,” he says finally, “I’m going to try to make contact with someone who can help us get back to Boston. Until then, I’m going to stay close to you to make sure that you’re safe. But not too close,” he adds, seeing the expression on my face. “I’m going to do my job.”

“If you really regretted what we did together, then you shouldn’t need to keep your distance.”

The words come out before I can stop them, and I see Levin’s face go hard, his lips pressing tightly together again. I can see from his expression that I’m treading on shaky ground.

He takes a deep breath, and I can see him sway towards me the slightest bit, as if he wants to come towards me, and he’s trying to stop himself. His hands drop to his sides, his fingers flexing, and it takes everything in me not to be the one to close the space between us. I want to go to him more than I want to breathe, but I also don’t want to make things worse—for myself or him.

Touching him right now would make it all so much worse.

“I don’t regret it because I didn’t want you,” Levin says quietly, and I feel my heart leap into my throat. And then he keeps speaking, and it falls back down to my toes.

“I regret it because I shouldn’t have allowed myself to give in to that weakness. The last time–”

He cuts off, his jaw tightening again, and I know I should ask him what he means. Whatthe last timemeans. But I can’t think past the burning of tears in my eyes; hearing him say the words,I regret itout loud. All I can think is that I’d hoped he might say that he didn’t actually regret it, that he would do it again if he could, but now I know for sure that’s not true.

The last thing I want to do is cry in front of him right now.

I think Levin sees the expression on my face, because his softens a little. “Elena–” He closes his eyes briefly, then takes one step closer, looking down at me. “What happened between us happened because of the dire circumstances we were in. It can’t happen again. I won’t let it. You’re my responsibility. I can’t let my good judgment be affected by this.”

Every word out of his mouth hurts more. I swallow hard, fighting back the tears welling up, desperately wanting to keep them from spilling over. “I know you enjoyed it,” I whisper. “You can’t fake that. You can’t tell me you were pretending the entire time—”

“I’m not saying that I was,” Levin says carefully. “What I felt when I was with you, Elena—”

The words hover in the air between us, the salty breeze ruffling through my hair as I stare at him, wanting to hear what comes next. I want to hear him say aloud what he felt when he was with me, howImade him feel, how good it was for him too. I want him to break down and make me feel as if I didn’t imagine it all.

I want, more than anything, for us to get a second chance.

“What I felt is the reason this can’t happen again,” Levin says gruffly, taking a step back. “Distraction could mean our lives, Elena. I’m prepared to die to keep you safe, but I’m not going to let anything happen to you. This isdangerous.It needs to be taken seriously.”

“You don’t think I’m taking it seriously?”

“That’s not what I meant.” Levin runs his hand over his hair, his expression suddenly exhausted. “Just go back down to the hold, Elena, please. Stay there until I come check on you. Stay out of the way of the crew. We’ll be in Rio before long, and then it’s just a matter of time until I can get this sorted and we get back to Boston, okay? And then—”

And then all this will be over.I can hear the unspoken words hovering between us, and it makes my heart ache.

I don’t want it to be over. The danger and the running and being so far from anywhere I feel safe—I wantthatto be over. But not this—not what I know there is between Levin and me.

“Please go back down where you’ll be safer,” Levin says quietly, and something about the way he says it, the way he emphasizes theplease,makes me feel as if I can’t tell him no, no matter how much I want to stay here talking to him. Even arguing with him is better than not talking at all.

“Alright,” I say softly. “Just–come down soon, okay? It’s lonely down there.”

Levin swallows, but he nods. “Before long,” he says finally. “I promise.”

I turn away then, limping back towards the stairs that will take me back to the cargo hold. As I do, I can’t stop the tears from starting to slide down my cheeks.

At least now, Levin can’t see.

Levin

“Have you been here before?”

It’s the first question out of Elena’s mouth as we get off the ship. I almost don’t hear her, as tense and irritable as I am. The captain had made an argument that I should leave Elena on board until I came back with the payment I promised him. When I told him there was absolutely no chance of that happening, there had been a considerable chance of violence. I didn’twantto take on the entire crew of the cargo ship that brought us here, but I was fully prepared to.

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