Page 27 of Love Sick

“You’re fascinated, aren’t you?” Alanna says, and I only just realize she is watching me. “Most would recoil in horror, but not you. What do you see?”

“It’s not what I see, but rather, what I hear.”

With Joy’s warm heart still in hand, Alanna walks forward, offering it to me with an outstretched hand. “What do you hear?”

Closing my eyes, I hear the steady echo of Joy’s heart and the cadence it once followed. I hear the blood pulsating through the veins and arteries, giving her life. But that is no more.

The change in music comes, a dramatic twist and turn as the melody becomes darker, the notes heavier, so heavy you feel them in the dark depths of your belly. To be able to hear this is something I never believed I would experience again.

But here I am; in the face of blood and gore, I can hear it and it’s…beautiful.

“Don’t be ashamed,” Alanna wisely says, reading my dilemma. “All’s fair in love and war.”

“Is that why you killed her?” I ask, opening my eyes and looking at a blood-splattered Alanna. “Because Jonathan loved her too?”

This is a risky game I play, but to get out of here, I need to ask questions which will help me understand.

“He never loved her,” she spits, blood staining the white floor as it drips from her hand. “He was using her to get to Luna and his son.”

I don’t need to ask if he loved Luna, because the answer is clear.

“Why did you give me Misha’s heart then?”

Alanna’s fingers making a squelching noise as they clench Joy’s heart. “Because you remind me so much of him.”

“Was he—” I search for the right word, not wanting to anger her. “Like that before you got Misha’s heart?” I gesture with my chin to Jonathan wrapped snug as a bug in his bed.

“Yes.”

This is the first time I see clarity behind Alanna’s eyes, and I realize that’s because she knows this won’t work…but if she can’t have Jonathan, then she’ll take everyone down with her. But the way she looks at me, I know the reason she saved me was because she wants me to be her happily ever after.

She gave me Misha’s heart in hopes I would see her as the hero of this story and what…fall in love with her? She just never factored in Luna and the instant connection we would form.

Alanna is in need of some serious help as reality and fiction blur. For her to do all this she feels guilt, and I am certain that guilt stems from her taking Jonathan’s life.

“What will you do with it?” I ask, meaning Joy’s heart.

“I was going to give it to Jonathan, but I don’t want that bitch inside of him. Each breath he takes will be a reminder that that is possible because of her. Besides, if you’re anything to go by, I want her and her memories far away from him.”

Something suddenly clicks.

I was Alanna’s lab rat in more ways than one. No wonder she showed such interest in me. She was studying me in more ways than one.

Trying to reason with Alanna is out of the question, so I need to play along with her insanity. “Yes, I am starting to understand that now. What I feel for Luna…I can’t help but wonder if maybe it’s because of Misha.”

Alanna’s attention is piqued. “How do you think you’d ever know if it was?”

I take my time, appearing to mull over her question before finally replying, “If I saw her again.”

Alanna watches me closely for any signs of deception, but she won’t see any.

“That’s why she’s still alive, isn’t it? You need her as part of your research. You need to know what makes a heart…love, in hopes that you can find love again.”

Alanna wets her lips. “You’re a very smart man, Dutch.”

Finally, I’m making headway with her. But I can’t push. “Will you let me play? You’re the reason I’m still alive.”

“I’ll think about it.”

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